Punch, Or The London Charivari | Page 6

_In the Ranks_, there are scenes of barrack-life that are full of freshness and originality. In _Harbour Lights_, if my memory does not play me false, the hero enlisted in the Guards, in The Trumpet Call he joins the Royal Horse Artillery. Then, again, unlike the scene in the New Cut in _The Lights o' London_, there is a view by night of the exterior of the Mogul Music Hall. Further, there is a "Doss House" scene, that did not for a moment (or certainly not for more than a moment) recall to my mind that gathering of the poor in the dark arches of a London bridge, in one of BOUCICAULT's pieces. By the way, was that play, _After Dark_, or was it _The Streets of London_? I really forget which. Then, all the characters in the new play are absolutely new and original. The hero who will bear everything for his alleged wife's sake, and weeps over his child, is quite new. So is the heroine who takes up her residence with poor but amusing showmen, instead of wealthy relatives. That is also quite new, and there was nothing like it in _The Lights o' London_. The villain, too, who will do and dare anything (in reason) to wed the lady who has secured his affections, is also a novelty. So is a character played by Miss CLARA JECKS as only Miss CLARA JECKS can and does play it. And there are many more equally bright and fresh, and, in a word, original.
So, my dear _Mr. Punch_, hasten to the Royal Adelphi Theatre, if you wish to see something that will either wake you up or send you to sleep. Go, my dear _Mr. Punch_, and sit out _The Trumpet Call_, and when you have seen it, you will understand why I sign myself,
Yours faithfully, ONE WHO HAS SEEN NOTHING LIKE IT BEFORE.
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"FRENCH AS SHE IS SPOKE."
[Illustration]
_From Admiral Gervais to My Lor' Maire._
Much we regret, Lor' Maire, _mon cher_, Your banquet to refuse; But if you fear not _mal de mer_, Pack up your _malle de mer, mon cher_, And join us in a cruise.
_From My Lor' Maire to Admiral Gervais._
Mon cher GERVAIS, Can't say "_Je vais_," Except "_Je vais L'autre c?t��._" GERVAIS, _tu vas,-- Moi--je ne vais pas._
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LE ROI (EN GAR?ON) EN VOYAGE, S'AMUSE;
_OR, WHAT HIS JUVENILE MAJESTY PACKED IN HIS "GLADSTONE," AND SET DOWN IN HIS NOTES, &C._
_Ollendorff_--Servian--in French, German, Russian, and any other Eastern tongues, as yet published.
Twelve dozen Boxes of Tin Soldiers.
Ditto, ditto, Bricks to Match.
Complete Letter Writer (with addenda), specially added by his "Papa," as models to be followed more or less closely when addressing his mother on matters of a homely and domestic character.
The Boy-King's Guide to the proper and decent method of presiding at a Cabinet Council, showing how the same may be conducted conjointly with the introduction of Ninepins, or some other equally interesting, intellectual, and manly game.
List of the best Sweet-stuff Shops.
Ditto, ditto of what's going on, and most worth looking up in places we visit.
Hand-Book to _Leger de Main_, with special reference to Practical Joking at State Functions, and other High Jinks!
Shilling Hand-Book to _Home Made Fireworks_, with Permanent Order signed by War Minister for supply of necessary materials.
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HYJINKS AND HYGIENE.
Hygiene and Demography! Never before With such wonderful names has a Conference met, With statistics by thousands and papers galore As to what Demos wants, as to what he's to get. It's not always perfectly clear what they mean. Yet, perhaps an outsider is right when he thinks Though no doubt they would die for beloved Hygiene, As a matter of fact they indulge in High Jinks.
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NEW WORK BY SIR AUGUSTUS DRURIOLANUS--to be included in the "_Opera Omnia_," by the same Author writing under a _nom de plume_, entitled, "_Legs Taglionis; or, Little Steps for Babes in the Ballet. By a Pa' de Quatre_." Also "_Classes and Lasses_," same series.
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[Illustration: A PIOUS FRAUD!
"HULLO, MONTY, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT IN YOUR BUTTON-HOLE? YOU DON'T MEAN TO SAY YOU'VE JOINED THE BLUE RIBBON ARMY?"--"YES; FOR THIS NIGHT ONLY. GOING TO DINE WITH JAKES. DON'T WANT TO HURT POOR OLD JAKES'S FEELINGS--DON'T WANT TO BE POISONED BY HIS BEASTLY WINE. SEE?"]
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NEPTUNE'S "AT HOME;" OR, NEIGHBOURS UNITED.
The French are all coming, for so they declare, Of their fleet and their tars all the papers advise us; They're to come o'er the sea and to Portsmouth repair, Their squadrons at Spithead will please, not surprise us. Their fleet is to come for a right friendly spree; To promise them "skylarks" is hardly presumption. They're welcome to NEPTUNE's old "Halls by the Sea." Of powder and grog there'll be mighty