Punch, Or The London Charivari | Page 8

this, one would have supposed that she might have reposed for a
space. But the penalty of social life is its never-ending necessity for
movement. Jealous rivals abound to dispute a hardly-won supremacy,
and the least sign of faltering may involve extinction. Yet it must be
said that she is kind to her own, even when she is most brilliant. She
brings out a daughter to be the delight of young Guardsmen, and
marries her to a widowed Peer; she furbishes up forgotten relations, and
allows them to shine in the rays of her glory; she is charitable after the
manner of fancy fairs, and the hospitality of her house becomes
proverbial. But, in the midst of all the bustle, the confusion, and the
rattling turmoil of her career, she sometimes sighs for the
undistinguished ease of her life in the pre-Royal days, sighs, and
returns with fresh vigour to the struggle.
And so the pleasureless days of the pleasure-seeker follow one another,
each with its particular legacy of little strivings, until, at the last,
consolation may come from the thought that there is at least one place
where there are many mansions, but no social ambitions.
* * * * *
NEW PRAYER-BOOK REVISION.--Several alterations will now
have to be made in the marriage service. If it be permissible for the
bride to omit her promise "to obey," as is reported to have been the case
at a wedding last week, why should any undertaking "to love," "to
honour," "to cherish," and so forth remain in the text? With all this left
out, a marriage, which, of course, will no longer be an ecclesiastical rite,
will hardly be a very civil ceremony. In course of time all the promises
will be made either explicitly or implicitly conditional, the only
question being what is the least possible obligation that can be incurred

by both contracting parties at the smallest possible expense.
* * * * *
[Illustration: FIN DE SIÈCLE CHILDREN.
He. "I SAY, HILDA, I SHOULD SO LIKE TO GIVE YOU A KISS!"
She (_who WILL pick up such strange expressions from the Boys_).
"WOULD YOU, INDEED? 'I LIKE YOUR CHEEK'!"
He. "I'M SURE I SHOULD LIKE _YOURS_!"]
* * * * *
NOT CAUGHT YET!
The Boy and the Bird! And the Bird looks so old;-- Scarce the species
of fowl to be easily "sold,"-- And the Boy is so young! It seems almost
absurd To suppose that that pinch is to capture that Bird!
An old form of chase, if the legends run right; Like that, much akin, of
the wild goose in flight. But salt, just like chaff and the plainly spread
net, Was never regarded as promising yet.
But now? Well, the Birds of the age, like its Boys, Its Wives, and its
Weather, its Tastes and its Toys, Have suffered a change, not a
sea-change, but one Which floors half the maxims, and spoils half the
fun.
Simple SIMON? Well, that's not as clear as it looks. The typical
noodles of nursery books Were podgy and chubby, or lanky and pale,
And--they tried to drop salt on poor dicky-bird's tail!
A fat boy in tight breeks with a palpable bait May look a great fool; but
I guess we must wait,-- Before we bemock him as crass and absurd,--
To see--what effect it will have on the Bird!
The trial's well timed, and the bait looks "not bad;" The Boy may

"know his book," though he's only a lad. Birds sometimes fall victims
to Boys on the prowl, And the Voter Bird is not the wariest fowl.
The Voter Bird shortly must show what he's worth He may be the
stupidest dicky on earth, Predestinate victim to salt-pinch or net; But
then he may _not_,--and he is "not caught _yet_!"
* * * * *
AN AUTOCRAT'S ASPIRATION.--Pan-Slavism for Holy Russia, and
Pan-Slav(e)ism for the rest of Europe.
* * * * *
LAND AND BRAIN.
(_A PAGE FROM A VADE MECUM FOR POLITICAL
ECONOMISTS._)
Question. Can you tell me how long an Author has a right to the profits
arising out of his literary labours? Answer. Forty-two years, or the term
of his natural life plus seven years further, whichever may be the longer.
_Q._ And should Lord MONKSWELL's Copyright Bill, which has
been read a First Time in the House of Peers, become law, will not this
right be extended to thirty years after the death of the Author? _A._ It
will, to his great advantage. The same measure contains other valuable
provisions to secure to the Author the just profit of his brain-work.
_Q._ But will not these advantages be purchased at the price of a loss
to the general good? _A._ Very likely--the community will suffer for
the benefit of the individual.