Punch, Or The London Charivari | Page 3

Flitter and flutter in delirium utter, As drawn by wizard powers.
Oh, "Painted Lady," Summer coverts shady, the greenwood home, the sweep of sunny fields, A butterfly befit; but where's the wit that mire-befouled to the swamp-demon yields? Oh, birds of Iris-glitter, black and bitter will be the wakening when those gaudy plumes Fall crushed and leaden, as your senses deaden In poisonous Python fumes!
Ye gobemouche creatures of batrachian features, who "go a-wooing" such a fate as this, Have ye no vision of that doom's decision? Have ye no ear for rattle or for hiss? Salammb?'s craving, morbid and enslaving, was sanity compared with your mad love, As well the swallow the fierce shrike might follow, Or hawk be chased by dove!
Tantalus' gold is all such Lamias hold; 'tis Devil's dice such Mammon vassals throw; A sordid fever fires each fool-believer in the gross glitter, the unholy glow. Vile is your Dagon! Circe's venomed flagon embruted less than doth the Lamia's wine, Than Comus' cup more perilous to sup-- As snakes are worse than swine.
The poet's snake enchanted, who so flaunted her borrowed robes amidst the daffodils, Hath piteous touches. She, from Fate's clutches, free some brief space, "escaped from so sore ills," Moves our compassion. But this modern fashion of Snake Enchanter looks unlovely all. Greed's inspiration its sole fascination. Low selfishness its thrall.
"A Serpent!" So the Sophist murmured low, and "LYCIUS' arms were empty of delight," LAMIA had fled! Would that some sage cool head, some modern APOLLONIUS, with the might Of sense magnanimous, would banish thus the bestial Lamia of our later day, Whose fascination draws a noble nation To sordid slow decay!
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DANTE NOT "IN IT"!--The Italian language is to be excluded from the Indian Civil Service Examination. "The story is extant, and written in very choice Italian," said _Hamlet_, and SHAKSPEARE knew that the reference would be intelligible to his audience. But Hamlet "up to date" in this "so-called nineteenth century" would be compelled to give the speech thus, "The original story, I believe, is written in the Italian language, with which none of us here are acquainted." But, after all, the candidates may be inclined to adapt the Gilbert-Sullivan words and music to the occasion, and sing--
"So, in spite of all temptation, At the next examination They'll bar I-tal-i-an!"
Though, years hence, it may happen that they'll be sorry they weren't compelled to get up Italian as one of the subjects.
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"O WOMAN, IN OUR HOUR OF EASE!"--which line would make a suitable motto for our very useful, chatty, and interesting weekly contemporary entitled _Woman. à propos_ of "headings," the only one in the above-mentioned publication to which objection can possibly be taken "on the face of it" is "Wrinkles." Wouldn't "Whispers" be better? It is quite enough for Woman to appear with lines, but it's too bad that wrinkles should be added while she is yet so young.
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"CHARLES OUR FRIEND."--Once again occurs an illustration of the applicability of Dickensian characters to modern instances. In last Thursday's _Times_, by special Razzle-Dalziel wire, we read of the return of another great Arctic explorer, Mr. WASHBURTON PIKE, after having braved dangers demanding the most dauntless courage. Here, then, are two single gentlemen rolled into one: it is Pike and Pluck combined.
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[Illustration: BEATUS POSSIDENS.
"I'VE COME ABOUT A JOB. I HEARD THERE WAS A BOY WANTED."
"OH, YOU 'EARD AS THERE WAS A BOY WANTED, DID YER? THEN YOU'RE JUST TOO LATE, 'COS MASTER'S SOOTED!"]
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WANTED FOR THE ETON LOAN COLLECTION.
1. The earliest specimen of the Birch. (_Suggested by a Merry Swish Boy._)
2. Salt-cellar used for holding the Salt at Montem time.
3. Specimen of Haberdashery, from an Eton "Sock" shop.
4. Model of the most powerful "Long-glass" from "Tap."
5. Chips from the Earliest Block, with authentic history of Etonian Original Transgression, or "First Fault."
6. Documents tracing the connection between "Pop" and the Pawnbroking business.
7. Specimen of Lower Boy's Hat, with motto, "_Sub Tegmine Fag-I!_"
8. Portraits of Eminent "Sitters" on Fourth of June and Election Saturday in the early part of present century.
9. Scull of a "Wet-Bob" originally feathered.
10. A copy (perfect and signed) of another boy's verses. (N.B. Not very scarce.)
11. Portraits of eminent Landlords who, acting on SHERIDAN's advice, have "kept up the Xtopher."
12. Also, portrait, with life and times of the crabbed old Thames Waterman, known on the river as "Surly HALL."
[Any future suggestions that maybe sent to us will be entirely at the service of the Duke of FIFE and others, interested in promoting this most interesting exhibition.]
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A PUBLISHER AND HIS FRIENDS.--In order to worthily celebrate the hearty reception, by the critics and the public generally, of this most interesting and successful work, the present representatives of the