Punch, Or The London Charivari

䐌Punch, Or The London Charivari, Vol. 100, May 30, 1891

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May 30, 1891, by Various This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net
Title: Punch, Or The London Charivari, Vol. 100, May 30, 1891
Author: Various
Release Date: September 7, 2004 [EBook #13390]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
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PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
VOL. 100.

May 30, 1891.

MR. PUNCH'S POCKET IBSEN.
(_CONDENSED AND REVISED VERSION BY MR. P.'S OWN HARMLESS IBSENITE._)
NO. IV.--THE WILD DUCK.
ACT III.
_HIALMAR's Studio. A photograph has just been taken, GINA and HEDVIG are tidying up._
Gina (_apologetically_). There should have been a luncheon-party in this Act, with Dr. RELLING and M?LVIK, who would have been in a state of comic "chippiness," after his excesses overnight. But, as it hadn't much to do with such plot as there is, we cut it out. It came cheaper. Here comes your father back from his walk with that lunatic, Young WERLE--you had better go and play with the Wild Duck. [HEDVIG goes.
Hialmar (_coming in_). I have been for a walk with GREGERS; he meant well--but it was tiring. GINA, he has told me that, fifteen years ago, before I married you, you were rather a Wild Duck, so to speak. (_Severely._) Why haven't you been writhing in penitence and remorse all these years, eh?
Gina (_sensibly_). Why? Because I have had other things to do. You wouldn't take any photographs, so I had to.
Hialmar. All the same--it was a swamp of deceit. And where am I to find elasticity of spirit to bring out my grand invention now? I used to shut myself up in the parlour, and ponder and cry, when I thought that the effort of inventing anything would sap my vitality. (_Pathetically._) I did want to leave you an inventor's widow; but I never shall now, particularly as I haven't made up my mind what to invent yet. Yes, it's all over. Rabbits are trash, and even poultry palls. And I'll wring that cursed Wild Duck's neck!
Gregers (_coming in beaming_). Well, so you've got it over. _Wasn't_ it soothing and ennobling, eh? and _ain't_ you both obliged to me?
Gina. No; it's my opinion you'd better have minded your own business, [_Weeps._
Gregers (_in great surprise_). Bless me! Pardon my Norwegian _na?veté_ but this ought really to be quite a new starting-point. Why, I confidently expected to have found you both beaming!--Mrs. EKDAL, being so illiterate, may take some little time to see it--but you, HIALMAR, with your deep mind, surely you feel a new consecration, eh?
Hialmar (_dubiously_). Oh--er--yes. I suppose so--in a sort of way.
[_HEDVIG runs in, overjoyed._
Hedvig. Father, only see what Mrs. S?RBY has given, me for a birthday present--a beautiful deed of gift! [_Shows it._
Hialmar (_eluding her_). Ha! Mrs. S?RBY, the family Housekeeper. My father's sight failing! HEDVIG in goggles! What vistas of heredity these astonishing coincidences open up! I am not short-sighted, at all events, and I see it all--all! This is my answer. (_He takes the deed, and tears it across._) Now I have nothing more to do in this house. (_Puts on overcoat._) My home has fallen in ruins about me. (_Bursts into tears._) My hat!
Gregers. Oh, but you _mustn't_ go. You must be all three together, to attain the true frame of mind for self-sacrificing forgiveness, you know!
Hialmar. Self-sacrificing forgiveness be blowed!
[_He tears himself away, and goes out._
Hedvig (_with despairing eyes_). Oh, he said it might be blowed! Now he'll never come home any more!
Gregers. Shall I tell you how to regain your father's confidence, and bring him home surely? Sacrifice the Wild Duck.
Hedvig. Do you think that will do any good?
Gregers. You just try it! [_Curtain._
ACT IV.
_Same Scene. GREGERS enters, and finds GINA retouching photographs_.
Gregers (_pleasantly_). HIALMAR not come in yet, after last night, I suppose?
Gina. Not he! He's been out on the loose all night with RELLING and M?LVIK. Now he's snoring on their sofa.
Gregers (_disappointed._) Dear!--dear!--when he ought to be yearning to wrestle in solitude and self-examination!
Gina (_rudely_). Self-examine your grandmother!
[_She goes out; HEDVIG comes in._
Gregers (_to Hedvig_). Ah, I see you haven't found courage to settle the Wild Duck yet!
Hedvig. No--it seemed such a delightful idea at first. Now it strikes me as a trifle--well, Ibsenish.
Gregers (_reprovingly_). I thought you hadn't grown up quite unharmed in this house! But if you really had the true, joyous spirit of self-sacrifice, you'd have a shot at that Wild Duck, if you died for it!
Hedvig (_slowly_). I see; you mean that my constitution's changing, and I ought