Punch, Or The London Charivari | Page 8

she sometimes sighs for the undistinguished ease of her life in the pre-Royal days, sighs, and returns with fresh vigour to the struggle.
And so the pleasureless days of the pleasure-seeker follow one another, each with its particular legacy of little strivings, until, at the last, consolation may come from the thought that there is at least one place where there are many mansions, but no social ambitions.
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NEW PRAYER-BOOK REVISION.--Several alterations will now have to be made in the marriage service. If it be permissible for the bride to omit her promise "to obey," as is reported to have been the case at a wedding last week, why should any undertaking "to love," "to honour," "to cherish," and so forth remain in the text? With all this left out, a marriage, which, of course, will no longer be an ecclesiastical rite, will hardly be a very civil ceremony. In course of time all the promises will be made either explicitly or implicitly conditional, the only question being what is the least possible obligation that can be incurred by both contracting parties at the smallest possible expense.
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[Illustration: FIN DE SIèCLE CHILDREN.
He. "I SAY, HILDA, I SHOULD SO LIKE TO GIVE YOU A KISS!"
She (_who WILL pick up such strange expressions from the Boys_). "WOULD YOU, INDEED? 'I LIKE YOUR CHEEK'!"
He. "I'M SURE I SHOULD LIKE _YOURS_!"]
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NOT CAUGHT YET!
The Boy and the Bird! And the Bird looks so old;-- Scarce the species of fowl to be easily "sold,"-- And the Boy is so young! It seems almost absurd To suppose that that pinch is to capture that Bird!
An old form of chase, if the legends run right; Like that, much akin, of the wild goose in flight. But salt, just like chaff and the plainly spread net, Was never regarded as promising yet.
But now? Well, the Birds of the age, like its Boys, Its Wives, and its Weather, its Tastes and its Toys, Have suffered a change, not a sea-change, but one Which floors half the maxims, and spoils half the fun.
Simple SIMON? Well, that's not as clear as it looks. The typical noodles of nursery books Were podgy and chubby, or lanky and pale, And--they tried to drop salt on poor dicky-bird's tail!
A fat boy in tight breeks with a palpable bait May look a great fool; but I guess we must wait,-- Before we bemock him as crass and absurd,-- To see--what effect it will have on the Bird!
The trial's well timed, and the bait looks "not bad;" The Boy may "know his book," though he's only a lad. Birds sometimes fall victims to Boys on the prowl, And the Voter Bird is not the wariest fowl.
The Voter Bird shortly must show what he's worth He may be the stupidest dicky on earth, Predestinate victim to salt-pinch or net; But then he may _not_,--and he is "not caught _yet_!"
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AN AUTOCRAT'S ASPIRATION.--Pan-Slavism for Holy Russia, and Pan-Slav(e)ism for the rest of Europe.
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LAND AND BRAIN.
(_A PAGE FROM A VADE MECUM FOR POLITICAL ECONOMISTS._)
Question. Can you tell me how long an Author has a right to the profits arising out of his literary labours? Answer. Forty-two years, or the term of his natural life plus seven years further, whichever may be the longer. _Q._ And should Lord MONKSWELL's Copyright Bill, which has been read a First Time in the House of Peers, become law, will not this right be extended to thirty years after the death of the Author? _A._ It will, to his great advantage. The same measure contains other valuable provisions to secure to the Author the just profit of his brain-work. _Q._ But will not these advantages be purchased at the price of a loss to the general good? _A._ Very likely--the community will suffer for the benefit of the individual. _Q._ In like manner a Patentee, who invents a most useful article, enjoys (for a consideration) a monopoly of its sale, does he not? _A._ For fourteen years. This enables him to recoup himself for the thought and labour he has employed in the most useful article's construction. _Q._ If Author and Inventor were allowed an absolute monopoly of the profits arising out of their brain-work, it would be immoral? _A._ No doubt, as the individuals would benefit at the cost of the community. _Q._ Why should a butterman, then, have an absolute right in the sale of his butter? _A._ Because butter is butter, and brains are merely brains. _Q._ And would it not be for the benefit of the community if the landowner of a freehold were deprived of his rights after a term of years, and his holding be given to the public? _A._ Oh dear, no!