Prudy Keeping House | Page 9

take her, teeth and all, her face has about as much expression
as a platter of cold hash. I'll leave it to you if it hasn't, Prue."
"Why, there, Miss Fixfix never asked me to kiss her one time," said Fly,
with sudden astonishment.
"Reckon you'd have wanted a lump of sugar after it, Topknot."
The good-natured housekeeper shook with laughter as she listened to
these remarks from the next room.
"What a terrible creature this Miss Fixfix is!" thought she. "Well, if
they've got such an idea of me, I won't try to change it. Not for the rest
of the day, at any rate. I'll keep my distance, and let 'em work."
Mother Hubbard began to look about her with the mien of a

housekeeper.
"Let us see: what are we burning here?" said she, taking off a
stove-cover. "Wood, I declare. Mrs. Fixfax is afraid I couldn't manage
coal!"
"And here's a 'normous big box full of sticks," said Lady Magnifico. "I
didn't s'pose wood grew in New York. What now, Mr. Moon? Don't I
know wood is sawed out of trees? Well, what you laughing at, then?"
"Laughing, my lady? Why, who can help it, to see such a jolly room,
big enough to hold a mass-meeting? That's a loud-spoken clock up
there. Wonder if Mother Hubbard notices it's just going to strike
twelve?"
Prudy looked up, but did not take the hint.
"I'm so glad I remembered to bring that clock. I always used to tell my
dog I prized it as much as he did his dear little tail.--Why, what's
burning? That child has scorched her slip. Do take care of her,
Mr.--what may I call you?--while I look over this cupboard."
"Call me Dr. Moonshine, if you want to."
"I'm glad I was so thoughtful as to order sugar," continued the landlady.
"It's excellent to drop medicine on. What's this in a bowl? Ice-cream?"
"Why, don't you know what that is?" said Lady Magnifico, sweeping
along to the cupboard, and dipping in her dainty finger; "that's
condemned milk.'
"Condensed milk, her ladyship means," said the doctor, "boiled down,
you know, and thickened. When you make a custard for dinner, you'll
have to put in a tea-kettle full of water."
This was the second hint the young man had thrown out concerning
dinner; but Prudy was not to be hurried.
"What's this in a little caddy? O, it's rice. No; it's what Dotty used to

call coker whacker."
"What does she call it now, may I ask?" said the doctor, with an
irritating smile.
"Patti-coker--what you s'pose?" was the rash reply. Poor Lady
Magnifico! Little tingles of shame ran down her fingers as soon as she
had spoken, for she saw, by the glances between her landlady and the
doctor, that she had made another mistake.
"O, I like to keep house," cried Fly, holding up her trailing robes, and
dancing over a carpet seam. "What's this goldy thing?"
"Bellows, Toddlekins, to blow up the fire. See me fill out their leather
cheeks."
"What pretty little blozers! Let me blow 'em!"
There was a second dash upon the stove, and another scorch in the slip.
"There ought to be a fence built round that stove," said the anxious
father.
"Come, Mother Hubbard, have you seen all there is in the cupboard?
Can't you give this poor old dog a bone?"
"Well, here I am with the care of the family on my shoulders," thought
Mother Hubbard, winking fast behind the green spectacles, and
recalling uneasily the couplet her father often repeated:--
"Think well before you pursue it; But when you begin, go through it."
"Now what'll we have for dinner?"
Lady Magnifico was walking languidly about, admiring herself in the
mirror, Dr. Moonshine rummaging an old closet, and Baby pulling out
the bureau drawers.
"They have the easy part. But never mind; I'll show them what I can do.

Mother says I have a great deal more taste for cooking than Susy has.
Didn't I make pickles all one vacation?"
Then Prudy sat down with the "Housekeeper's Friend," and began at the
first page to read. Half an hour passed, and no signs of her moving.
"I'm hunger-y," whispered Baby, taking a sugar-coated pill out of a box,
and touching it with her tongue. It was sweet till her teeth went into it,
when out rolled the little ball upon the floor.
"O, my shole! How bitter!" groaned she, wiping her mouth on a lace
cuff. "'Spect that's a pill, and they cooked it in sugar; but I shan't eat it."
"Little daughter, what are you doing there? Mustn't meddle with other
folks' things." Dr. Moonshine sneezed as he spoke, having breathed
some of the "dust of ages" into his nose off a top shelf, where Mrs.