Potash Perlmutter | Page 3

going to open up as a new beginner, Noblestone," Zudrowsky replied, "but if you got a going concern, y'understand, five thousand dollars is always five thousand dollars. There's lots of business men what is short of money all the time, Noblestone. Couldn't you find it maybe a young feller which is already established in business, y'understand, and what needs doch a little money?"
Noblestone slapped his thigh.
"I got it!" he said. "I'll go around and see Sam Feder of the Kosciusko Bank."
Half an hour later Noblestone sat in the first vice-president's office at the Kosciusko Bank, and requested that executive officer to favor him with the names of a few good business men, who would appreciate a partner with five thousand dollars.
"I'll tell you the truth, Noblestone," Mr. Feder said, "we turn down so many people here every day, that it's a pretty hard thing for me to remember any particular name. Most of 'em is good for nothing, either for your purpose or for ours, Noblestone. The idee they got about business is that they should sell goods at any price. In figuring the cost of the output, they reckon labor, so much; material, so much; and they don't take no account of rent, light, power, insurance and so forth. The consequence is, they lose money all the time; and they put their competitors in bad too, because they make 'em meet their fool prices. The whole trade is cut up by them fellers and sooner as recommend one for a partner for your client, I'd advise him to take his money and play the ponies with it."
At this juncture a boy entered and handed Mr. Feder a card.
"Tell him to come right in," Feder said, and then he turned to Noblestone. "You got to excuse me for a few minutes, Noblestone, and I'll see you just as soon as I get through."
As Noblestone left the first vice-president's office, he encountered Feder's visitor, who wore an air of furtive apprehension characteristic of a man making his initial visit to a pawn shop. Noblestone waited on the bench outside for perhaps ten minutes, when Mr. Feder's visitor emerged, a trifle red in the face.
"That's my terms, Mr. Perlmutter," Feder said.
"Well, if I would got to accept such a proposition like that, Mr. Feder," the visitor declared, "I would sooner bust up first. That's all I got to say."
He jammed his hat down on his head and made for the door.
"Now, Mr. Noblestone, I am ready for you," Feder cried, but his summons fell on deaf ears, for Noblestone was in quick pursuit of the vanishing Perlmutter. Noblestone overtook him at the corner and touched his elbow.
"How do you do, Mr. Perlmutter!" he exclaimed.
Perlmutter stopped short and wheeled around.
"Huh?" he said.
"This is Mr. Sol Perlmutter, ain't it?" Noblestone asked.
"No, it ain't," Perlmutter replied. "My name is Morris Perlmutter, and the pair of real gold eye-glasses which you just picked up and would let me have as a bargain for fifty cents, ain't no use to me neither."
"I ain't picked up no eye-glasses," Noblestone said.
"No?" Morris Perlmutter rejoined. "Well, I don't want to buy no blue white diamond ring neither, y'understand, so if it's all the same to you I got business to attend to."
"So do I," Noblestone went on, "and this is what it is. Also my name is there too."
He showed Morris a card, which read as follows: ______________________________________________________ | | | TELEPHONE CONNECTION REAL ESTATE & INSURANCE | | IN ALL ITS BRANCHES | | | | PHILIP NOBLESTONE | | BUSINESS BROKER | | | | G E T A | | P A R T N E R | | | | 594 EAST HOUSTON STREET NEW YORK | |______________________________________________________|
"Don't discount them good accounts, Mr. Perlmutter," he added, "it ain't necessary."
"Who told you I want to discount some accounts?" Morris asked.
"If I see a feller in a dentist's chair," Noblestone answered, "I don't need to be told he's got the toothache already."
After this Morris was easily persuaded to accept Noblestone's invitation to drink a cup of coffee, and they retired immediately to a neighboring bakery and lunch room.
"Yes, Mr. Noblestone," Morris said, consulting the card. "I give you right about Feder. That feller is worser as a dentist. He's a bloodsucker. Fifteen hundred dollars gilt-edged accounts I offer him as security for twelve hundred, and when I get through with paying DeWitt C. Feinholtz, his son-in-law, what is the bank's lawyer, there wouldn't be enough left from that twelve hundred dollars to pay off my operators."
"That's the way it is when a feller's short of money," Noblestone said. "Now, if you would got it a partner with backing, y'understand, you wouldn't never got to be short again."
With this introductory sentence, Noblestone launched out upon a series of persuasive