Poise: How to Attain It | Page 3

personal value that he exaggerates the importance of everything that concerns him.
This condition is a much more common one than one might at first believe. Many an occurrence which, when it happens to some one else, seems to us quite devoid of interest, becomes, when it directly affects us, a matter to compel the attention of others, to the extent that we find ourselves chilled and disappointed when we discover that we are the victims of that indifference which we were prepared to exhibit toward other people under similar circumstances.
The consciousness of our own worth must not be confounded with that adoration of self which transforms poise into egotism.
It is a good thing to know one's own powers sufficiently well to undertake only such tasks as are certainly within the scope of one's abilities.
To believe oneself more capable than one really is, is a fault that is far too common. It is, nevertheless, less harmful in the long run than the failing which is its exact antithesis. Lack of confidence in one's own powers is the source of every kind of feebleness and of all unsuccess.
It is for this reason that poise never can exist without another quality, that correctness of judgment which, in giving us the breadth of mind to know exactly how much we are capable of, permits us to undertake our tasks without boasting and without hesitation.
Soundness of judgment is the faculty of being able to appreciate the merits of our neighbors without cherishing any illusions as to our own, and of being able to do this so exactly that we can with assurance carry out to its end any undertaking, knowing that the result must be, barring accidents, precisely what we have foreseen.
This being the case, what possible reason can we have for depreciating ourselves or for lacking poise?
Timid people suffer without recognizing their own defects in the matter of insight.
They torture themselves by building their judgments upon indications and not upon facts.
If the perception of a man of resolution causes him to understand at once the emptiness of criticisms based on envy or spleen, the timid man, always ready to seize upon anything that can be possibly construed into an appearance of ridicule directed against himself, will give up a project that he hears criticized without stopping to weigh the value of the arguments advanced.
Far from arguing the question out, or attempting a rebuttal, he never even dreams of it. The very thought of a contest, however courteously it may be conducted, frightening him to such an extent that he loses all his ideas.
The unfortunate shrinking which characterizes him makes him an easy prey for people of exaggerated enthusiasms as well as to quick disillusionment.
A token of apparent sympathy touches him so profoundly that he does not wait to estimate its value and to decide whether it be sincere or not.
He passes in a moment from careless gaiety to the blackest despair if he imagines that he has observed even the appearance of an unsympathetic gesture.
He does not need to be sure, to be miserable. It is enough for him if the circumstances that he thought favorable become seemingly hostile and antagonistic.
How utterly different is the attitude of the man who is endowed with poise!
His firmness of soul saves him from unconsidered enthusiasms and he jealously preserves his control in the presence of excessive protestations as well as when confronting indications of aimless antagonism.
How can such a man as this possibly fail to form a correct judgment and to benefit by all the qualities that depend upon it?
Absolute sincerity toward oneself is one of the forms of sound judgment.
Without indulging in excessive modesty, it is a good thing to endeavor to become intimately acquainted with one's aptitudes and one's failings, and to admit the latter with the utmost frankness in order to set about the work of correcting them.
It is also necessary to know exactly what sort of territory it is in which one is taking one's risks.
The world of affairs, whatever these last may happen to be, may be likened to a vast preserve containing traps for wild beasts.
The man who wishes to walk in such a place without coming to harm will, first of all, make a careful study of the ground for the purpose of avoiding the traps and pitfalls that may engulf him or wound him as he passes.
Just as soon as he has located these dangers his step becomes firm and he can advance with a tranquil gait and head upraised along the paths which he knows do not conceal any dangerous surprizes.
These are the pitfalls that most frequently threaten that daring that we sometimes find in the timid.
Their very defects preventing them from making proper comparisons, they are altogether too prone to ignore their faults and to magnify their