Plunkitt of Tammany Hall | Page 9

Egyptian mummies and how many years it will take for
a bird to wear out a mass of iron as big as the earth by steppin' on it
once in a century?"
I have studied politics and men for forty-five years, and I see how
things are driftin'. Sad indeed is the change that has come over the
young men, even in my district, where I try to keep up the fire of
patriotism by gettin' a lot of jobs for my constituents, whether
Tam-many is in or out. The boys and men don't get excited any more
when they see a United States flag or hear "The Star-Spangled Banner."
They don't care no more for firecrackers on the Fourth of July. And
why should they? What is there in it for them? They know that no
matter how hard they work for their country in a campaign, the jobs
will go to fellows who can tell about the mummies and the bird steppin'
on the iron. Are you surprised then that the young men of the country
are beginnin' to look coldly on the flag and don't care to put up a nickel
for firecrackers?
15 The Curse of Civil Service Reform

Say, let me tell of one case- After the battle of San Juan Hill, the
Americans found a dead man with a light complexion, red hair and blue
eyes. They could see he wasn't a Spaniard, although he had on a
Spanish uniform. Several officers looked him over, and then a private
of the Seventy-first Regiment saw him and yelled, "Good Lord, that's
Flaherty." That man grew up in my district, and he was once the most
patriotic American boy on the West Side. He couldn't see a flag without
yellin' himself hoarse.
Now, how did he come to be lying dead with a Spanish uniform on? I
found out all about it, and I'll vouch for the story. Well, in the
municipal campaign of 1897, that young man, chockful of patriotism,
worked day and night for the Tammany ticket. Tammany won, and the
young man determined to devote his life to the service of the city. He
picked out a place that would suit him, and sent in his application to the
head of department. He got a reply that he must take a civil service
examination to get the place. He didn't know what these examinations
were, so he went, all lighthearted, to the Civil Service Board. He read
the questions about the mummies, the bird on the iron, and all the other
fool questions-and he left that office an enemy of the country that he
had loved so well. The mummies and the bird blasted his patriotism. He
went to Cuba, enlisted in the Spanish army at the breakin' out of the
war, and died fightin' his country.
That is but one victim of the infamous civil service. If that young man
had not run up against the civil examination, but had been allowed to
serve his country as he wished, he would be in a good office today,
drawin' a good salary. Ah, how many young men have had their
patriotism blasted in the same way!
Now, what is goin' to happen when civil service crushes out patriotism?
Only one thing can happen: the republic will go to pieces. Then a czar
or a sultan will turn up, which brings me to the fourthly of my
argument-that is, there will be h---- to pay. And that ain't no lie.
Chapter 4
. Reformers Only Mornin' Glories
COLLEGE professors and philosophers who go up in a balloon to think
are always discussin' the question: "Why Reform Administrations
Never Succeed Themselves!" The reason is plain to anybody who has

learned the a, b, c of politics.
I can't tell just how many of these movements I've seen started in New
York during my forty years in politics, but I can tell you how many
have lasted more than a few years-none. There have been reform
committees of fifty, of sixty, of seventy, of one hundred and all sorts of
numbers that started Out to do up the regular political Organizations.
They were mornin' glories-looked lovely in the mornin' and withered
up in a short time, while the regular machines went on flourishin'
forever, like fine old oaks. Say, that's the first poetry I ever worked off.
Ain't it great?
Just look back a few years. You remember the People's Municipal
League that nominated Frank Scott for mayor in 1890? Do you
remember the reformers that got up that league? Have you ever heard
of them since? I haven't. Scott himself survived because he had always
been a first-rate politician. but you'd have to look in the newspaper
almanacs of 1891 to find out who made up the