Plunkitt of Tammany Hall | Page 6

supposed they had been robbin' the city treasury or
levyin' blackmail on disorderly houses, or workin' in with the gamblers
and lawbreakers.
As a matter of policy, if nothing else, why should the Tammany leaders
go into such dirty business, when there is so much honest graft lyin'
around when they are in power? Did you ever consider that?
Now, in conclusion, I want to say that I don't own a dishonest dollar. If
my worst enemy was given the job of writin' my epitaph when I'm gone,
he couldn't do more than write:
"George W. Plunkitt. He Seen His Opportunities, and He Took 'Em."
Chapter 2
. How to Become a Statesman
THERE'S thousands of young men in this city who will go to the polls
for the first time next November. Among them will be many who have
watched the careers of successful men in politics, and who are longin'
to make names and fortunes for themselves at the same game- It is to
these youths that I want to give advice. First, let me say that I am in a
position to give what the courts call expert testimony on the subject. I
don't think you can easily find a better example than I am of success in
politics. After forty years' experience at the game I am-well, I'm
George Washington Plunkitt. Everybody knows what figure I cut in the
greatest organization on earth, and if you hear people say that I've laid
away a million or so since I was a butcher's boy in Washington Market,
don't come to me for an indignant denial I'm pretty comfortable, thank
you.
Now, havin' qualified as an expert, as the lawyers say, I am goin' to
give advice free to the young men who are goin' to cast their first votes,

and who are lookin' forward to political glory and lots of cash. Some
young men think they can learn how to be successful in politics from
books, and they cram their heads with all sorts of college rot. They
couldn't make a bigger mistake. Now, understand me I ain't sayin'
nothin' against colleges. I guess they'll have to exist as long as there's
book-worms, and I suppose they do some good in a certain way, but
they don't count in politics. In fact, a young man who has gone through
the college course is handicapped at the outset. He may succeed in
politics, but the chances are 100 to 1 against him.
Another mistake: some young men think that the best way to prepare
for the political game is to practice speakin' and becomin' orators.
That's all wrong. We've got some orators in Tammany Hall, but they're
chiefly ornamental. You never heard of Charlie Murphy delivering a
speech, did you? Or Richard Croker, or John Kelly, or any other man
who has been a real power in the organization? Look at the thirty-six
district leaders of Tammany Hall today. How many of them travel on
their tongues? Maybe one or two, and they don't count when business is
doin' at Tammany Hall. The men who rule have practiced keepin' their
tongues still, not exercisin' them. So you want to drop the orator idea
unless you mean to go into politics just to perform the skyrocket act.
Now, I've told you what not to do; I guess I can explain best what to do
to succeed in politics by tellin' you what I did. After goin' through the
apprenticeship of the business while I was a boy by workin' around the
district headquarters and hustlin' about the polls on election day, I set
out when I cast my first vote to win fame and money in New York City
politics. Did I offer my services to the district leader as a stump-speaker?
Not much. The woods are always full of speakers. Did I get up a hook
on municipal government and show it to the leader? I wasn't such a fool.
What I did was to get some marketable goods before goin' to the
leaders. What do I mean by marketable goods? Let me tell you: I had a
cousin, a young man who didn't take any particular interest in politics. I
went to him and said: "Tommy, I'm goin' to be a politician, and I want
to get a followin'; can I count on you?" He said: "Sure, George.', That's
how I started in business. I got a marketable commodity---one vote.
Then I went to the district leader and told him I could command two
votes on election day, Tommy's and my own. He smiled on me and told
me to go ahead. If I had offered him a speech or a bookful of learnin',

he would have said, "Oh, forget it!"
That was beginnin' business in a small way,