Plays of Henley and R.L. Stevenson | Page 6

right, sir; ye're vera right, Mr. Leslie. It had been
deponed to me offeecially that no a tradesman - no the Deacon here
himsel' - could have made a cleaner job wi' Andra Simpson's shutters.
And as for the lock o' the bank - but that's an auld sang.
BRODIE. I think you believe too much, Procurator. Rumour's an
ignorant jade, I tell you. I've had occasion to see some little of their
handiwork - broken cabinets, broken shutters, broken doors - and I find
them bunglers. Why, I could do it better myself!
LESLIE. Gad, Brodie, you and I might go into partnership. I back
myself to watch outside, and I suppose you could do the work of skill
within?
BRODIE. An opposition company? Leslie, your mind is full of good
things. Suppose we begin to-night, and give the Procurator's house the

honours of our innocence?
MARY. You could do anything, you two!
LAWSON. Onyway, Deacon, ye'd put your ill-gotten gains to a right
use; they might come by the wind but they wouldna gang wi' the water;
and that's aye A SOLATIUM, as we say. If I am to be robbit, I would
like to be robbit wi' decent folk; and no think o' my bonnie clean siller
dirling among jads and dicers. [Faith, William, the mair I think on't, the
mair I'm o' Mr. Leslie's mind. Come the night, or come the morn, and
I'se gie ye my free permission, and lend ye a hand in at the window
forbye!
BRODIE. Come, come, Procurator, lead not our poor clay into
temptation. (LESLIE AND MARY TALK APART.)
LAWSON. I'm no muckle afraid for your puir clay, as ye ca't.] But hark
i' your ear: ye're likely, joking apart, to be gey and sune in partnership
wi' Mr. Leslie. He and Mary are gey and pack, a body can see that.
[BRODIE. 'Daffin' and want o' wit' - you know the rest.
LAWSON. VIDI, SCIVI, ET AUDIVI, as we say in a Sasine, William.]
Man, because my wig's pouthered do ye think I havena a green heart? I
was aince a lad mysel', and I ken fine by the glint o' the e'e when a lad's
fain and a lassie's willing. And, man, it's the town's talk; COMMUNIS
ERROR FIT JUS, ye ken.
[OLD BRODIE. Oh!
LAWSON. See, ye're hurting your faither's hand.
BRODIE. Dear dad, it is not good to have an ill-tempered son.
LAWSON. What the deevil ails ye at the match? 'Od, man, he has a
nice bit divot o' Fife corn-land, I can tell ye, and some Bordeaux wine
in his cellar! But I needna speak o' the Bordeaux; ye'll ken the smack
o't as weel's I do mysel'; onyway it's grand wine. TANTUM ET TALE.
I tell ye the PRO'S, find you the CON.'S, if ye're able.]
BRODIE. [I am sorry, Procurator, but I must be short with you.] You
are talking in the air, as lawyers will. I prefer to drop the subject [and it
will displease me if you return to it in my hearing].
LESLIE. At four o'clock to-morrow? At my house? (TO MARY).
MARY. As soon as church is done. (EXIT MARY.)
LAWSON. Ye needna be sae high and mighty, onyway.
BRODIE. I ask your pardon, Procurator. But we Brodies - you know
our failings! [A bad temper and a humour of privacy.]

LAWSON. Weel, I maun be about my business. But I could tak' a
doch-an-dorach, William; SUPERFLUA NON NOCENT, as we say;
an extra dram hurts naebody, Mr. Leslie.
BRODIE (WITH BOTTLE AND GLASSES). Here's your old friend,
Procurator. Help yourself, Leslie. Oh no, thank you, not any for me.
You strong people have the advantage of me there. With my attacks,
you know, I must always live a bit of a hermit's life.
LAWSON. 'Od, man, that's fine; that's health o' mind and body. Mr.
Leslie, here's to you, sir. 'Od, it's harder to end than to begin wi' stuff
like that.
SCENE III
To these, SMITH and JEAN, C.
SMITH. Is the king of the castle in, please?
LAWSON (ASIDE). Lord's sake, it's Smith!
BRODIE (TO SMITH). I beg your pardon?
SMITH. I beg yours, sir. If you please, sir, is Mr. Brodie at home, sir?
BRODIE. What do you want with him, my man?
SMITH. I've a message for him, sir, a job of work, sir!
BRODIE (TO SMITH; REFERRING TO JEAN). And who is this?
JEAN. I am here for the Procurator, about my rent. There's nae offence,
I hope, sir.
LAWSON. It's just an honest wife I let a flat to in Libberton's Wynd.
It'll be for the rent?
JEAN. Just that, sir.
LAWSON. Weel, ye can just bide here a wee, and I'll step down the
road to my office wi' ye. (EXEUNT BRODIE,