Plays, series 2 | Page 4

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God won't let me die in a strange land. ... I'll die at home.
FEDYA. Are you from far off?
SAVVA. From Vologda. The town itself. ... I live there.
FEDYA. And where is this Vologda?
TIHON. The other side of Moscow. ...
FEDYA. Well, well, well. ... You have come a long way, old man! On
foot?
SAVVA. On foot, young man. I've been to Tihon of the Don, and I'm

going to the Holy Hills. [Note: On the Donetz, south-east of Kharkov; a
monastery containing a miraculous ikon.] ... From there, if God wills it,
to Odessa. ... They say you can get to Jerusalem cheap from there, for
twenty-ones roubles, they say. ...
FEDYA. And have you been to Moscow?
SAVVA. Rather! Five times. ...
FEDYA. Is it a good town? [Smokes] Well-standing?
Sews. There are many holy places there, young man. ... Where there are
many holy places it's always a good town. ...
BORTSOV. [Goes up to the counter, to TIHON] Once more, please!
For the sake of Christ, give it to me!
FEDYA. The chief thing about a town is that it should be clean. If it's
dusty, it must be watered; if it's dirty, it must be cleaned. There ought
to be big houses ... a theatre ... police ... cabs, which ... I've lived in a
town myself, I understand.
BORTSOV. Just a little glass. I'll pay you for it later.
TIHON. That's enough now.
BORTSOV. I ask you! Do be kind to me!
TIHON. Get away!
BORTSOV. You don't understand me. ... Understand me, you fool, if
there's a drop of brain in your peasant's wooden head, that it isn't I who
am asking you, but my inside, using the words you understand, that's
what's asking! My illness is what's asking! Understand!
TIHON. We don't understand anything. ... Get back!
BORTSOV. Because if I don't have a drink at once, just you understand
this, if I don't satisfy my needs, I may commit some crime. God only
knows what I might do! In the time you've kept this place, you rascal,
haven't you seen a lot of drunkards, and haven't you yet got to
understand what they're like? They're diseased! You can do anything
you like to them, but you must give them vodka! Well, now, I implore
you! Please! I humbly ask you! God only knows how humbly!
TIHON. You can have the vodka if you pay for it.
BORTSOV. Where am I to get the money? I've drunk it all! Down to
the ground! What can I give you? I've only got this coat, but I can't give
you that. I've nothing on underneath. ... Would you like my cap? [Takes
it off and gives it to TIHON]
TIHON. [Looks it over] Hm. ... There are all sorts of caps. ... It might

be a sieve from the holes in it. ...
FEDYA. [Laughs] A gentleman's cap! You've got to take it off in front
of the mam'selles. How do you do, good-bye! How are you?
TIHON. [Returns the cap to BORTSOV] I wouldn't give anything for it.
It's muck.
BORTSOV. If you don't like it, then let me owe you for the drink! I'll
bring in your five copecks on my way back from town. You can take it
and choke yourself with it then! Choke yourself! I hope it sticks in your
throat! [Coughs] I hate you!
TIHON. [Banging the bar-counter with his fist] Why do you keep on
like that? What a man! What are you here for, you swindler?
BORTSOV. I want a drink! It's not I, it's my disease! Understand that!
TIHON. Don't you make me lose my temper, or you'll soon find
yourself outside!
BORTSOV. What am I to do? [Retires from the bar-counter] What am
I to do? [Is thoughtful.]
EFIMOVNA. It's the devil tormenting you. Don't you mind him, sir.
The damned one keeps whispering, "Drink! Drink!" And you answer
him, "I shan't drink! I shan't drink!" He'll go then.
FEDYA. It's drumming in his head. ... His stomach's leading him on!
[Laughs] Your houour's a happy man. Lie down and go to sleep!
What's the use of standing like a scarecrow in the middle of the inn!
This isn't an orchard!
BORTSOV. [Angrily] Shut up! Nobody spoke to you, you donkey.
FEDYA. Go on, go on! We've seen the like of you before! There's a lot
like you tramping the high road! As to being a donkey, you wait till I've
given you a clout on the ear and you'll howl worse than the wind.
Donkey yourself! Fool! [Pause] Scum!
NAZAROVNA. The old man may be saying a prayer, or giving up his
soul to God, and here are these unclean ones wrangling with one
another and saying all sorts of