Peter Simple | Page 9

TO MRS. TROTTER--CONNUBIAL
BLISS IN A COCK-PIT--MRS. TROTTER TAKES ME IN, AS A
MESSMATE.
On our arrival on board, the coxswain gave a note from the captain to
the first lieutenant, who happened to be on deck. He read the note,
looked at me earnestly, and then I overheard him say to another
lieutenant, "The service is going to the devil. Here's another of the fools
of a family made a present of to the country--another cub for me to lick
into shape. Well, I never saw the one yet I did not make something of.
Where's Mr Simple?"

"I am Mr Simple, sir," replied I, very much frightened at what I had
overheard.
"Now, Mr Simple," said the first lieutenant, "observe and pay particular
attention to what I say. The captain tells me in this note that you have
been shamming stupid. Now, sir, I am not to be taken in that way. I
have looked attentively at your face and I see at once that you are very
clever, and if you do not prove so in a very short time, why--you had
better jump overboard, that's all. Perfectly understand me. I know that
you are a very clever fellow, and having told you so, don't you pretend
to impose upon me, for it won't do."
I was very much terrified at this speech, but at the same time I was
pleased to hear that he thought me clever, and I determined to do all in
my power to keep up such an unexpected reputation.
"Quarter-master," said the first lieutenant, "tell Mr Trotter to come on
deck."
The quarter-master brought up Mr Trotter, who apologised for being so
dirty, as he was breaking casks out of the hold. He was a short, thickset
man, about thirty years of age, with a nose which had a red club to it,
very dirty teeth, and large black whiskers.
"Mr Trotter," said the first lieutenant, "here is a young gentleman who
has joined the ship. Introduce him into the berth, and see his hammock
slung. You must look after him a little."
"I really have very little time to look after any of them, sir," replied Mr
Trotter, "but I will do what I can. Follow me, youngster." Accordingly,
I descended the ladder after him; then I went down another, and then to
my surprise I was desired by him to go down a third, which, when I had
done, he informed me that I was in the cock-pit.
"Now, youngster," said Mr Trotter, seating himself upon a large chest,
"you may do as you please. The midshipmen's mess is on the deck
above this, and if you like to join, why you can; but this I will tell you
as a friend, that you will be thrashed all day long, and fare very badly;

the weakest always goes to the wall there, but perhaps you do not mind
that. Now that we are in harbour, I mess here, because Mrs Trotter is on
board. She is a very charming woman, I can assure you, and will be
here directly; she has just gone up into the galley to look after a net of
potatoes in the copper. If you like it better, I will ask her permission for
you to mess with us." I had scarcely time to reply, when I perceived a
pair of legs, cased in black cotton stockings, on the ladder above us,
and it proved that they belonged to Mrs Trotter, who came down the
ladder with a net full of smoking potatoes.
"Upon my word, Mrs Trotter, you must be conscious of having a very
pretty ankle, or you would not venture to display it, as you have to Mr
Simple, a young gentleman whom I beg to introduce to you, and who,
with your permission, will join our mess."
"My dear Trotter, how cruel of you not to give me warning; I thought
that nobody was below. I declare I'm so ashamed," continued the lady
simpering, and covering her face with the hand which was unemployed.
"It can't be helped now, my love, neither was there any thing to be
ashamed of. I trust Mr Simple and you will be very good friends. I
believe I mentioned his desire to join our mess."
"I am sure I shall be very happy in his company. This is a strange place
for me to live in, Mr Simple, after the society to which I have been
accustomed; but affection can make any sacrifice; and rather than lose
the company of my Trotter, who has been unfortunate in pecuniary
matters--"
"But, my dear," interrupted Mr Trotter, "is it not time to look after our
dinner?"
"Yes; I am going forward for it now. We have skewer pieces today Mr