Peter Simple | Page 6

room,
and each time my legs failed me; at last I wiped the perspiration from
my forehead, and with a desperate effort I went into the room.
"Mr Simple, I am glad to see you," said a voice. I had held my head
down, for I was afraid to look at him, but the voice was so kind that I
mustered up courage; and, when I did look up, there sat with his
uniform and epaulets, and his sword by his side, the passenger in the

plaid cloak, who wanted to open my letter, and whom I had told to his
face, that he was no gentleman.
I thought I should have died, as the other midshipman did upon his
chest. I was just sinking down upon my knees to beg for mercy, when
the captain, perceiving my confusion, burst out into a laugh, and said,
"So you know me again, Mr Simple? Well, don't be alarmed; you did
your duty in not permitting me to open the letter. I give you credit for
your conduct. Now sit down and take some breakfast."
"Captain Courtney," said he to the other captain, who was at the table,
"this is one of my youngsters, just entering the service. We were
passengers yesterday by the same coach." He then told him the
circumstance which occurred, at which they laughed heartily.
I now recovered my spirits a little--but still there was the affair at the
theatre, and I thought that perhaps he did not recognise me. I was,
however, soon relieved from my anxiety by the other captain inquiring,
"were you at the theatre last night, Savage?"
"No; I dined at the admiral's; there's no getting away from those girls,
they are so pleasant."
"I rather think you are a little--taken in that quarter."
"No, on my word! I might be, if I had time to discover which I liked
best; but my ship is at present my wife, and the only wife I intend to
have until I am laid on the shelf."
Well, thought I, if he was not at the theatre, it could not have been him
that I insulted.
"Pray, Mr Simple, how are your father and mother?" said the captain.
"Very well, I thank you, sir, and desire me to present their
compliments."
"I am obliged to them. Now I have a little advice to offer you. In the

first place, obey your superior officers without hesitation; it is for me,
not you, to decide whether an order is unjust or not. In the next place,
never swear or drink spirits. The first is immoral and ungentleman-like,
the second is a vile habit which will grow upon you. I never touch spirit
myself, and I expect that my young gentlemen will refrain from it also.
Now you may go, and as soon as your uniforms arrive, you will repair
on board. Good morning."
I quitted the room with a low bow, glad to have surmounted so easily
what appeared to be a chaos of difficulty; but my mind was confused
with the testimony of the midshipman, so much at variance with the
language and behaviour of the captain. When I arrived at the Blue Posts,
I found all the midshipmen in the coffee-room, and I repeated to them
all that had passed. When I had finished, they burst out laughing, and
said that they had only been joking with me. "Well," said I to the one
who had called me up in the morning, "you may call it joking, but I call
it lying."
"Pray, Mr Bottlegreen, do you refer to me?"
"Yes, I do," replied I.
"Then, sir, as a gentleman I demand satisfaction. Slugs in a saw-pit.
Death before dishonour, damn me!"
"Could not the affair be arranged otherwise?" interrupted another. "Will
not Mr Bottlegreen retract?"
"My name is Simple, sir, and not Bottlegreen," replied I; "and as he did
tell a falsehood, I will not retract?"
"Then the affair must go on," said the midshipman. "Robinson, will you
oblige me by acting as my second?"
"It's an unpleasant business," replied the other, "you are so good a shot;
but as you request it, I shall not refuse. Mr Simple is not, I believe,
provided with a friend."

"Yes, he is," replied another of the midshipmen. "He is a spunky fellow,
and I'll be his second."
It was then arranged that we should meet the next morning with pistols.
I considered that, as an officer and a gentleman, I could not well refuse,
but I was very unhappy. I went up into my room and wrote a long letter
to my mother, enclosing a lock of my hair, and having shed a few tears
at the idea of how sorry she would be if I were killed, I borrowed a