Peter Simple

Peter Simple, by Frederick
Marryat

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Title: Peter Simple
Author: Frederick Marryat
Release Date: May 22, 2007 [EBook #21577]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ASCII
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SIMPLE ***

Produced by Nick Hodson of London, England

Peter Simple
by Captain Marryat.
CHAPTER ONE.

THE GREAT ADVANTAGE OF BEING THE FOOL OF THE
FAMILY--MY DESTINY IS DECIDED, AND I AM CONSIGNED
TO A STOCKBROKER AS PART OF HIS MAJESTY'S
SEA-STOCK--UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME MR. HANDYCOCK IS
A BEAR, AND I GET VERY LITTLE DINNER.
If I cannot narrate a life of adventurous and daring exploits, fortunately
I have no heavy crimes to confess: and, if I do not rise in the estimation
of the reader for acts of gallantry and devotion in my country's cause, at
least I may claim the merit of zealous and persevering continuance in
my vocation. We are all of us variously gifted from Above, and he who
is content to walk, instead of to run, on his allotted path through life,
although he may not so rapidly attain the goal, has the advantage of not
being out of breath upon his arrival.
As well as I can recollect and analyse my early propensities, I think that,
had I been permitted to select my own profession, I should in all
probability have bound myself apprentice to a tailor; for I always
envied the comfortable seat which they appeared to enjoy upon the
shopboard, and their elevated position, which enabled them to look
down upon the constant succession of the idle or the busy, who passed
in review before them in the main street of the country town, near to
which I passed the first fourteen years of my existence.
But my father, who was a clergyman of the Church of England, and the
youngest brother of a noble family, had a lucrative living, and a "soul
above buttons," if his son had not. It has been from time immemorial
the heathenish custom to sacrifice the greatest fool of the family to the
prosperity and naval superiority of the country, and, at the age of
fourteen, I was selected as the victim. If the custom be judicious, I had
no reason to complain. There was not one dissentient voice, when it
was proposed before all the varieties of my aunts and cousins, invited
to partake of our new-year's festival. I was selected by general
acclamation. Flattered by such an unanimous acknowledgment of my
qualification, I felt a slight degree of military ardour, and a sort of
vision of future grandeur passed before me, in the distant vista of which
I perceived a coach with four horses, and a service of plate. But as my

story is not a very short one, I must not dwell too long on its
commencement. I shall therefore inform the reader, that my father, who
lived in the north of England, did not think it right to fit me out at the
country town, near to which we resided; but about a fortnight after the
decision which I have referred to, he forwarded me to London, on the
outside of the coach, with my best suit of bottle-green and six shirts. To
prevent mistakes, I was booked in the way-bill, "To be delivered to Mr
Thomas Handycock, Number 14, Saint Clement's Lane--carriage paid."
My parting with the family was very affecting; my mother cried bitterly,
for, like all mothers, she liked the greatest fool which she had presented
to my father, better than all the rest; my sisters cried because my
mother cried; Tom roared for a short time more loudly than all the rest,
having been chastised by my father for breaking his fourth window in
that week.
At last I tore myself away. I had blubbered till my eyes were so red and
swollen, that the pupils were scarcely to be distinguished, and tears and
dirt had veined my cheeks like the marble of the chimney-piece. My
handkerchief was soaked through with wiping my eyes and blowing my
nose, before the scene was over. My brother Tom, with a kindness
which did honour to his heart, exchanged his for mine, saying, with
fraternal regard, "Here, Peter, take mine, it's as dry as a bone." But my
father would not wait for a second handkerchief to perform its duty. He
led me away through the hall, when, having shaken hands with all the
men, and kissed all the maids, who stood in a