Perks of Being a Wallflower | Page 9

is how he introduced himself, and that is what Sam calls him.
Incidentally, Sam has brown hair and very very pretty green eyes. The kind of green that doesn't
make a big deal about itself. I would have told you that sooner, but under the stadium lights, everything
looked kind of washed out. It wasn't until we went to the Big Boy, and Sam and Patrick started to
chain-smoke that I got a good look at her. The nice thing about the Big Boy was the fact that Patrick and
Sam didn't just throw around inside jokes and make me struggle to keep up. Not at all. They asked me
questions.
"How old are you, Charlie?"
"Fifteen."
"What do you want to do when you grow up?"
"I don't know just yet."
"What's your favorite band?"
"I think maybe the Smiths because I love their song `Asleep,' but I'm really not sure one way or the
other because I don't know any other songs by them too well."
"What's your favorite movie?"
"I don't know really. They're all the same to me."
"How about your favorite book?"
" This Side of Paradiseby From. Scott Fitzgerald."
"Why?"
"Because it was the last one I read."
This made them laugh because they knew I meant it honest, not show-off. Then they told me their
favorites, and we sat quiet. I ate the pumpkin pie because the lady said it was in season, and Patrick and
Sam smoked more cigarettes.
I looked at them, and they looked really happy together. A good kind of happy. And even though I
thought Sam was very pretty and nice, and she was the first girl I ever wanted to ask on a date someday
when I can drive, I did not mind that she had a boyfriend, especially if he was a good guy like Patrick.
"How long have you been `going out'?" I asked.
Then, they started laughing. Really laughing hard.
"What's so funny?" I said.
"We're brother and sister," Patrick said, still laughing.
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"But you don't look alike," I said.
That's when Sam explained that they were actually stepsister and stepbrother since Patrick's dad
married Sam's mom. I was very happy to know that because I would really like to ask Sam on a date
someday. I really would. She is so nice.
I feel ashamed, though, because that night, I had a weird dream. I was with Sam. And we were both
naked. And her legs were spread over the sides of the couch. And I woke up. And I had never felt that
good in my life. But I also felt bad because I saw her naked without her permission. I think that I should
tell Sam about this, and I really hope it does not prevent us from maybe making up inside jokes of our
own. It would be very nice to have a friend again. I would like that even more than a date.
Love always,
Charlie
October 14, 1991 Dear friend,
Do you know what "masturbation" is? I think you probably do because you are older than me. But
just in case, I will tell you. Masturbation is when you rub your genitals until you have an orgasm. Wow!
I thought that in those movies and television shows when they talk about having a coffee break that
they should have a masturbation break. But then again, I think this would decrease productivity.
I'm only being cute here. I don't really mean it. I just wanted to make you smile. I meant the "wow"
though.
I told Sam that I dreamt that she and I were naked on the sofa, and I started crying because I felt
bad, and do you know what she did? She laughed. Not a mean laugh, either. A really nice, warm laugh.
She said that she thought I was being cute. And she said it was okay that I had a dream about her. And I
stopped crying. Sam then asked me if I thought she was pretty, and I told her I thought she was "lovely."
Sam then looked me right in the eye.
"You know you're too young