Percival Keene | Page 8

now come here, sir," said my granny, who had the lid of her
snuff-box off, and held it open in her hand; "what have you been doing
with my snuff?"
"Why, granny, have I had your snuff-box the whole day?"
"How should I know?--a boy like you, with every finger a fish-hook; I
do believe you have; I only wish I could find you out. I had fresh snuff
this morning."
"Perhaps they made a mistake at the shop, mother," said aunt Milly;
"they are very careless."
"Well, I can't tell: I must have some more; I can't take this."
"Throw it in the fire, granny," said I; "and I'll run with the box and get
it full again."
"Well, I suppose it's the best thing I can do," replied the old woman,
who went to the grate, and leaning over, poured the snuff out on the
live coals. The result was a loud explosion and a volume of smoke,
which burst out of the grate into her face--the dinner and lappets singed,
her spectacles lifted from her nose, and her face as black as a sweep's.
The old woman screamed, and threw herself back; in so doing, she fell
over the chair upon which she had been sitting, and, somehow or
another, tripped me up, and lay with all her weight upon me. I had been
just attempting to make my escape during the confusion--for my
mother and Milly were equally frightened--when I found myself
completely smothered by the weight of my now almost senseless
granny, and, as I have before mentioned, she was a very corpulent

woman. Had I been in any other position I should not have suffered so
much; but I had unfortunately fallen flat on my back, and was now
lying with my face upwards, pressed upon by the broadest part of the
old woman's body; my nose was flattened, and my breath completely
stopped. How long my granny might have remained there groaning I
cannot tell; probably, as I was somewhat a spoiled child before this, it
might have ended in her completely finishing me; but she was roused
up from her state of half syncope by a vigorous attack from my teeth,
which, in the agony of suffocation, I used with preternatural force of
jaw from one so young. I bit right through everything she had on, and
as my senses were fast departing, my teeth actually met with my
convulsive efforts. My granny, roused by the extreme pain, rolled over
on her side, and then it was that my mother and aunt, who supposed
that I had made my escape from the room, discovered me lifeless, and
black in the face. They ran to me, but I still held on with my teeth, nor
could I be separated from my now screaming relative, until the
admission of fresh air, and a plentiful sprinkling of cold water brought
me to my senses, when I was laid on the sofa utterly exhausted. It
certainly was a narrow escape, and it may be said that the "biter was
nearly bit." As for my granny, she recovered her fright and her legs, but
she did not recover her temper; she could not sit down without a pillow
on the chair for many days, and, although little was said to me in
consequence of the danger I had incurred, yet there was an evident
abhorrence of me on the part of the old woman, a quiet manner about
my mother, and a want of her usual hilarity on the part of my aunt,
which were to me a foreboding of something unpleasant. A few days
brought to light what was the result of various whisperings and
consultations. It was on a fine Monday morning, that Ben made his
appearance at an unusually early hour; my cap was put on my head, my
cloak over my shoulders; Ben took me by the hand, having a covered
basket in the other, and I was led away like a lamb to the butcher. As I
went out there was a tear in the eyes of my aunt Milly, a melancholy
over the countenance of my mother, and a twinkling expression of
satisfaction in my grandmother's eyes, which even her spectacles could
not conceal from me: the fact was, my grandmother had triumphed, and
I was going to school.

CHAPTER FOUR.
As soon as I was clear of the door, I looked up into Ben's face and said,
"Father, where are we going?"
"Well," replied he, "I am going to take you to school."
"School! What am I going to school for?" replied I.
"For biting your grandmother, I expect, in the first place, and to get a
little learning, and a good deal of flogging, if what they say is true! I