Peace | Page 6

you after now? Oh! my god! 'tis a man emptying his belly in the Piraeus, close to the house where the bad girls are. But is it my death you seek then, my death? Will you not bury that right away and pile a great heap of earth upon it and plant wild thyme therein and pour perfumes on it? If I were to fall from up here and misfortune happened to me, the town of Chios[1] would owe a fine of five talents for my death, all along of your cursed rump. Alas! how frightened I am! oh! I have no heart for jests. Ah! machinist, take great care of me. There is already a wind whirling round my navel; take great care or, from sheer fright, I shall form food for my beetle.... But I think I am no longer far from the gods; aye, that is the dwelling of Zeus, I perceive. Hullo! Hi! where is the doorkeeper? Will no one open?
f[1] An allusion to the proverbial nickname applied to the Chians [in Greek]--'crapping Chian.' There is a further joke, of course, in connection with the hundred and one frivolous pretexts which the Athenians invented for exacting contributions from the maritime allies.
(THE SCENE CHANGES AND HEAVEN IS PRESENTED.)
HERMES Meseems I can sniff a man. (HE PERCEIVES TRYGAEUS ASTRIDE HIS BEETLE.) Why, what plague is this?
TRYGAEUS A horse-beetle.
HERMES Oh! impudent, shameless rascal! oh! scoundrel! triple scoundrel! the greatest scoundrel in the world! how did you come here? Oh! scoundrel of all scoundrels! your name? Reply.
TRYGAEUS Triple scoundrel.
HERMES Your country?
TRYGAEUS Triple scoundrel.
HERMES Your father?
TRYGAEUS My father? Triple scoundrel.
HERMES By the Earth, you shall die, unless you tell me your name.
TRYGAEUS I am Trygaeus of the Athmonian deme, a good vine-dresser, little addicted to quibbling and not at all an informer.
HERMES Why do you come?
TRYGAEUS I come to bring you this meat.
HERMES Ah! my good friend, did you have a good journey?
TRYGAEUS Glutton, be off! I no longer seem a triple scoundrel to you. Come, call Zeus.
HERMES Ah! ah! you are a long way yet from reaching the gods, for they moved yesterday.
TRYGAEUS To what part of the earth?
HERMES Eh! of the earth, did you say?
TRYGAEUS In short, where are they then?
HERMES Very far, very far, right at the furthest end of the dome of heaven.
TRYGAEUS But why have they left you all alone here?
HERMES I am watching what remains of the furniture, the little pots and pans, the bits of chairs and tables, and odd wine-jars.
TRYGAEUS And why have the gods moved away?
HERMES Because of their wrath against the Greeks. They have located War in the house they occupied themselves and have given him full power to do with you exactly as he pleases; then they went as high up as ever they could, so as to see no more of your fights and to hear no more of your prayers.
TRYGAEUS What reason have they for treating us so?
HERMES Because they have afforded you an opportunity for peace more than once, but you have always preferred war. If the Laconians got the very slightest advantage, they would exclaim, "By the Twin Brethren! the Athenians shall smart for this." If, on the contrary, the latter triumphed and the Laconians came with peace proposals, you would say, "By Demeter, they want to deceive us. No, by Zeus, we will not hear a word; they will always be coming as long as we hold Pylos."[1]
f[1] Masters of Pylos and Sphacteria, the Athenians had brought home the three hundred prisoners taken in the latter place in 425 B.C.; the Spartans had several times sent envoys to offer peace and to demand back both Pylos and the prisoners, but the Athenian pride had caused these proposals to be long refused. Finally the prisoners had been given up in 423 B.C., but the War was continued nevertheless.
TRYGAEUS Yes, that is quite the style our folk do talk in.
HERMES So that I don't know whether you will ever see Peace again.
TRYGAEUS Why, where has she gone to then?
HERMES War has cast her into a deep pit.
TRYGAEUS Where?
HERMES Down there, at the very bottom. And you see what heaps of stones he has piled over the top, so that you should never pull her out again.
TRYGAEUS Tell me, what is War preparing against us?
HERMES All I know is that last evening he brought along a huge mortar.
TRYGAEUS And what is he going to do with his mortar?
HERMES He wants to pound up all the cities of Greece in it.... But I must say good-bye, for I think he is coming out; what an uproar he is making!
TRYGAEUS Ah! great gods! let us seek safety; meseems I already hear the noise of this fearful war mortar.
WAR (ENTERS, CARRYING A HUGE MORTAR) Oh! mortals, mortals, wretched mortals, how your