Parodies of Ballad Criticism | Page 7

Hat made of an Oaken Leaf, His Shirt a Spider's Web, Both light and soft for these his Limbs That were so smally bred. His Hose and Doublet Thistle Down, Together weav'd full fine; His Stockings of an Apple green, Made of the outward Rind; His Garters were two little Hairs Pluck'd from his Mothers Eye; His Shooes made of a Mouse's Skin, And Tann'd most curiously.
The next Stanza's relate his Diversions, bearing some Analogy to those of Ascanius and other Lads in Virgil:
Thus like a valiant Gallant He Adventures forth to go, With other Children in the Street, His pretty Tricks to show.
Una Acies Juvenum ducit quam Parvus Ovantem Nomen Avi referens Priamus.
There is a Piece of Revenge our little Hero took upon a Play-fellow, which proves, to what an height Mechanical and Experimental Philosophy was arriv'd to in that Age, and may be worth while to be considered by the Royal Society.
Of whom to be reveng'd, he took In Mirth and pleasant Game, Black Pots and Glasses, which he hung Upon a bright Sun-Beam.
The third Line is a Demonstration of the Antiquity of Drinking out of Black-Pots, which still prevails in most Counties of this Nation, among the Justices of Peace at their Petty and Quarter Sessions.
The last four Lines of this Canto, and the beginning of the next, contain the miraculous Adventure of the Pudding-Bowl: And, by the by, we may observe, That it was the Custom of the Christians at that time, to make Hog-Puddings instead of Minc'd-Pies at Christmas; a laudable Custom very probably brought up to distinguish 'em more particularly from the Jews.
Whereas about a Christmas time, His Father an Hog had kill'd, And Tom to see the Pudding made, Fear that it should be spill'd; He sat, the Candle for to Light, Upon the Pudding-Bowl: Of which there is unto this Day A pretty Pastime told: For Tom fell in----
Perhaps some may think it below our Hero to stoop to such a mean Employment as the Poet has here enjoyn'd him, of holding the Candle, and that it looks too much like a Citizen, or a Cot, as the Women call it: But if we reflect on the Obedience due to Parents, as our Author undoubtedly did, and the Necessities those People labour'd under, we cannot but admire at his ready Compliance with what could by no Means be agreeable to the Heroical Bent of his Inclinations, and perceive what a tender Regard he had for the Wellfare of his Family, when he took the strictest Care imaginable for the Preservation of the Hog-Pudding. And what can be more remarkable? What can raise the Sentiments of Pity and Compassion to an higher Pitch, than to see an Hero fall into such an unforeseen Disaster in the honourable Execution of his Office? This certainly is conformable to the way of Thinking among the Ancient Poets, and what a good-natur'd Reader cannot but be affected with.
The following Part of this Canto is the Relation of our Hero's being put into a Pudding, and convey'd away in a Tinker's Budget; which is design'd by our Author to prove, if it is understood literally, That the greatest Men are subject to Misfortunes. But it is thought by Dr. B--tly to be all Mythology, and to contain the Doctrine of the Transmutation of Metals, and is design'd to shew, that all Matter is the same, tho' very differently Modified. He tells me, he intends to publish a distinct Treatise of this Canto; and I don't question, but he'll manage the Dispute with the same Learning, Conduct, and good Manners, he has done others, and as Dr. Salmon uses in his Corrections of Dr. Sydenham and the Dispensatory.
The next Canto is the Story of Tom Thumb's being Swallow'd by a Cow, and his Deliverance out of her, which is treated of at large by Giordano Bruno in his Spaccio de la Bestia trionfante; which Book, tho' very scarce, yet a certain Gentleman, who has it in his Possession, has been so obliging as to let every Body know where to meet with it. After this, you find him carried off by a Raven, and swallow'd by a Giant; and 'tis almost the same Story as that of Ganimede, and the Eagle in Ovid.
Now by a Raven of great Strength, Away poor Tom was born.
Nec mora: percusso mendacibus aere pennis Abripit Iliaden.
A certain great Critick and Schoolmaster who has publish'd such Notes upon Horace as were never seen before, is of Opinion, and has very good Authority for what he says, that 'twas rather an Owl than a Raven; for, as he observes with a wonderful deal of Penetration and Sagacity, our Hero's Shoes were made of a Mouse's Skin which might induce the Owl to run away with him.