Parisian Points of View | Page 9

saying. You hear him, Aunt
Louise; he admits that this time last year he preferred to expatriate
himself rather than marry me. So there he was in America, in China,
and in Japan. This lasted ten months; from time to time, humbly and
timidly, I asked for news of him. He was very well; his last letter was
from Shanghai, or Sidney, or Java. For me, not a word, not a
remembrance--nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing!"
"I had promised your mother. One day at Yokohama I had bought you a
lot of fascinating little things. The box was done up and addressed to
you when I remembered my promise. I sent all those Japaneseries to
your mother, thinking that you would have your share of the spoil."
"I had nothing at all. The arrival of the box was kept a secret. It would
have been necessary to have pronounced your name before me, and
mamma didn't wish that. On the other hand, there was always one name
on her lips--Courtalin. Still Courtalin, and always Courtalin. He had all
qualities, all virtues. Then he had just lost his aunt in Brittany, and he
had inherited something. It was thought that he would only have a
quarter of the property, and he had had three-quarters. Besides, it was a
country-seat, and all around this seat, an admirable domain, sixteen or
seventeen hundred hectares. I say it to my shame, Aunt Louise, to my
great shame, the thought of giving in came to me; and then, to be
absolutely frank, it rather pleased me to become a duchess; so mamma
made me out a list of all possible husbands for me, and there was no
other duke in the list but M. de Courtalin. There was, of course, the
little Count of Limiers, who would be duke some day. But when? His
father is forty-five and an athlete, and has an iron constitution. So I was
obliged to admit it when I talked it over with mamma in the evening.
To be duchess it was necessary to agree on M. de Courtalin. Mamma,
however, was perfect, and delightfully gentle. She did not press me, nor
treat me harshly, nor torment me; she waited. Only I knew she had said
to Mme. de Nelly: 'It will be accomplished, my dear, before the 20th of
June. It must be.' Papa was obliged to return to Aix for his complaint.
The 20th of June was the date for his departure. I no longer said, 'No,
no, no!' with that savage energy of the year before. You see, Gontran, I
open my whole heart to you; you will have, I hope, soon the same

courage and sincerity."
"You may be sure of it."
"I was waiting, however--I was waiting for his return. I wished to have
with him a very serious conversation. It is quite true that I felt like
fainting with fear at the mere thought of that explanation; but I was
none the less resolved to speak, and I would speak. It seemed to me
impossible that he had not thought of me sometimes out there in China
and Cochin China. We had always loved each other (till the unhappy
day on which I had become marriageable) with a tender and faithful
affection! I knew that he would arrive in Paris during the night of the
2d or 3d of April. Very certainly the day after he would come and see
us. And so, in fact, towards two o'clock he came. Mamma hadn't
finished dressing; I was alone. I ran to him. 'Ah, how glad I am to see
you!' and I kissed him with effusion. Then he, very much moved, yes,
very much moved, kissed me, and began to say to me such nice and
pretty things that I felt my heart melting. Ah, if mamma hadn't come
for five minutes--I would only have asked for five minutes!--and how
quickly it would have turned into love-making our little explanation!"
"Yes, that is true. The impulse that threw you into my arms was so
sincere. Ah, very certainly it was that day, at that moment, that I began
to love you. And then I looked at you. You were no longer the same.
There was such great and happy change."
"He does not dare say it, Aunt Louise, but I will say it: I had become
fatter. Ah, when I think that I might be Duchess of Courtalin if I had
remained thin. Those men! Those men! What wretches! But mamma
came in, then papa, and then my brother George. No explanation
possible! There they all were engaged in an odious conversation on the
comparative merits of the English and French boats--the English ones
are faster, the food on the French ones is better, etc. It was