Paris and Holland | Page 3

good complexion, lively but
giddy manners, was a great laugher, and still capable of exciting a
passing fancy. I soon made myself at home with her, and found out,
when she began to talk, that she was neither a widow nor the niece of
the Pope. She came from Modena, and was a mere adventuress. This
discovery shewed me what sort of a man the abbe was.
I thought from his expression that the count had taken a fancy to her,
and when she asked us to dinner I refused on the plea of an engagement;
but Tiretta, who took my meaning, accepted. Soon after I went away
with the abbe, whom I dropped at the Quai de la Ferraille, and I then
went to beg a dinner at Calsabigi's.
After dinner Calsabigi took me on one side, and told me that M. du
Vernai had commissioned him to warn me that I could not dispose of
tickets on account.
"Does M. du Vernai take me for a fool or a knave? As I am neither, I
shall complain to M. de Boulogne."
"You will be wrong; he merely wanted to warn you and not offend
you."
"You offend me very much yourself, sir, in talking to me in that fashion;
and you may make up your mind that no one shall talk to me thus a
second time."
Calsabigi did all in his power to quiet me down, and at last persuaded
me to go with him to M. du Vernai's. The worthy old gentleman seeing
the rage I was in apologized to me for what he had said, and told me
that a certain Abbe de la Coste had informed him that I did so. At this I
was highly indignant, and I told him what had happened that morning,
which let M. du Vernai know what kind of a man the abbe was. I never
saw him again, either because he got wind of my discovery, or because
a happy chance kept him out of my way; but I heard, three years after,
that he had been condemned to the hulks for selling tickets of a
Trevaux lottery which was non-existent, and in the hulks he died.

Next day Tiretta came in, and said he had only just returned.
"You have been sleeping out, have you, master profligate?"
"Yes, I was so charmed with the she-pope that I kept her company all
the night."
"You were not afraid of being in the way?"
"On the contrary, I think she was thoroughly satisfied with my
conversation."
"As far as I can see, you had to bring into play all your powers of
eloquence."
"She is so well pleased with my fluency that she has begged me to
accept a room in her house, and to allow her to introduce me as a
cousin to M. le Noir, who, I suppose, is her lover."
"You will be a trio, then; and how do you think you will get on
together?"
"That's her business. She says this gentleman will give me a good
situation in the Inland Revenue."
"Have you accepted her offer?"
"I did not refuse it, but I told her that I could do nothing without your
advice. She entreated me to get you to come to dinner with her on
Sunday."
"I shall be happy to go."
I went with my friend, and as soon as the harebrain saw us she fell on
Tiretta's neck, calling him dear Count "Six-times"--a name which stuck
to him all the time he was at Paris.
"What has gained my friend so fine a title, madam?"

"His erotic achievements. He is lord of an honour of which little is
known in France, and I am desirous of being the lady."
"I commend you for so noble an ambition."
After telling me of his feats with a freedom which chewed her
exemption from vulgar prejudice, she informed me that she wished her
cousin to live in the same house, and had already obtained M. le Noir's
permission, which was given freely.
"M. le Noir," added the fair Lambertini, "will drop in after dinner, and I
am dying to introduce Count 'Sixtimes' to him."
After dinner she kept on speaking of the mighty deeds of my
countryman, and began to stir him up, while he, no doubt, pleased to
have a witness to his exploits, reduced her to silence. I confess that I
witnessed the scene without excitement, but as I could not help seeing
the athletic person of the count, I concluded that he might fare well
everywhere with the ladies.
About three o'clock two elderly women arrived, to whom the
Lambertini eagerly introduced Count "Six-times." In great
astonishment they enquired the origin of his title, and the heroine of the
story having whispered