Out of the Fog | Page 7

great barren tract on the Banks where few fish are found and fishermen
seldom go, and we had drifted into this man-forsaken place. I had
almost said "God-forsaken" too, but something began to shape itself in
my mind about that time, that makes it difficult for me now to say this.
Rather, as I look back on our experience, I feel more like claiming

fellowship with the "wanderer" who called the place of his hardship
"Bethel" because it was there, at the end of self and of favoring
conditions, that he found God.

THE PILOT
I was near "the end of my rope"--I was not frightened, or discouraged;
my mind was perfectly clear; I was not stampeded. Of course, I had
thought of God and of prayer, but I was a skeptic, as I supposed, and
considered both not proven. But the steady contemplation of the
probability of death, for seven successive days, under conditions that
compelled candor, raised questions that skepticism could not answer,
and gave to my questions answers that skepticism could not refute.
There comes a time, under such conditions, when common sense
asserts itself and sophistry fails to satisfy. Since I made this discovery
in my personal experience, I have learned that my case was not peculiar,
but in keeping with a general law in human experience, long
understood and admirably stated in the 107th Psalm. Such words as
these have come "out of the depths" and it is sometimes necessary to go
down into the depths to prove them to be true.
"They wandered.... in a solitary way; they found no city to dwell in.
Hungry and thirsty, their soul fainted in them. Then they cried unto the
Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them out of their distresses, and
he led them forth by the right way, that they might go to a city of
habitation.... Such as sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, being
bound in affliction and iron; because they rebelled against the words of
God, and contemned the counsel of the Most High: therefore he
brought down their heart with labor; they fell down and there was none
to help. Then they cried unto the Lord in their trouble, and he saved
them out of their distresses. He brought them out of darkness and the
shadow of death, and brake their bands in sunder..... They that go down
to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters; these see the works
of the Lord, and his wonders in the deep. For he commandeth, and
raiseth the stormy wind, which lifteth up the waves thereof. They
mount up to the heaven, they go down again to the depths: their soul is
melted because of trouble... they are at their wits' end. Then they cry
unto the Lord in their trouble, and he bringeth them out of their
distresses. He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are

still. Then are they glad because they be quiet; so he bringeth them unto
their desired haven."
I had drifted into the "secret place," the door was shut, and it was the
right time and place for me to pray. I saw that my life had been a failure,
that I was absolutely worthless, and that, if death came then, there was
not one good thing that I had ever done that would survive. In fact, I
could think of nothing in my life that was worth remembering. I was
not so much concerned about my own salvation as for another chance
to live and to do an unselfish work in the world. And so I did what I
thought then (and think still) was the only sane thing to do, I signaled
for the Pilot.
That night the rain came. I spread my oil jacket and caught an
abundance of water of which we drank deeply. With this refreshment
came new hope and new courage for the final struggle, if safety could
be gained that way. I reviewed the situation and considered one by one
the possible courses we might take. We seemed to be shut in to three
things. The first possibility was to row to land; but the nearest land, the
Newfoundland coast, was nearly three hundred miles away, and I
decided that we did not have the time or the strength to reach it. The
second possibility was to be picked up by a passing vessel; but this did
not look encouraging, for two had already passed us. The third and last
hope was to find a fishing vessel at anchor, and within a reasonable
distance. This last possibility seemed almost probable. But how
probable? Possibly within ten miles, probably within twenty-five,
certainly within _fifty_, some fishermen were plying their trade, but
_where?_