Our Deportment | Page 9

we know nothing, and who may afterwards prove to be anything but desirable persons to know. Care should be taken, therefore, in introducing two individuals, that the introduction be mutually agreeable. Whenever it is practicable, it is best to settle the point by inquiring beforehand. When this is inexpedient from any cause, a thorough acquaintance with both parties will warrant the introducer to judge of the point for him or herself.
UNIVERSAL INTRODUCTIONS.
While the habit of universal introductions is a bad one, there are many men in cities and villages who are not at all particular whom they introduce to each other. As a general rule, a man should be as careful about the character of the person he introduces to his friends, as he is of him whose notes he would endorse.
THE INTRODUCTION OF A GENTLEMAN TO A LADY.
A gentleman should not be introduced to a lady, unless her permission has been previously obtained, and no one should ever be introduced into the house of a friend, except permission is first granted. Such introductions, however, are frequent, but they are improper, for a person cannot know that an introduction of this kind will be agreeable. If a person asks you to introduce him to another, or a gentleman asks to be introduced to a lady, and you find the introduction would not be agreeable to the other party, you may decline on the grounds that you are not sufficiently intimate to take that liberty.
When a gentleman is introduced to a lady, both bow slightly, and the gentleman opens conversation. It is the place of the one who is introduced to make the first remark.
INFORMAL INTRODUCTION.
It is not strictly necessary that acquaintanceship should wait a formal introduction. Persons meeting at the house of a common friend may consider that fact a sufficient warrant for the preliminaries of acquaintanceship, if there appears to be a mutual inclination toward such acquaintanceship. The presence of a person in a friend's house is a sufficient guaranty for his or her respectability. Gentlemen and ladies may form acquaintances in traveling, on a steamboat, in a railway car, or a stage-coach, without the formality of an introduction. Such acquaintanceship should be conducted with a certain amount of reserve, and need not be prolonged beyond the time of casual meeting. The slightest approach to disrespect or familiarity should be checked by dignified silence. A young lady, however, is not accorded the same privilege of forming acquaintances as is a married or elderly lady, and should be careful about doing so.
INTRODUCTIONS AT A BALL.
It is the part of the host and hostess at a ball to introduce their guests, though guests may, with perfect propriety, introduce each other, or, as already intimated, may converse with one another without the ceremony of a formal introduction. A gentleman, before introducing his friends to ladies, should obtain permission of the latter to do so, unless he is perfectly sure, from his knowledge of the ladies, that the introductions will be agreeable. The ladies should always grant such permission, unless there is a strong reason for refusing. The French, and to some extent the English, dispense with introductions at a private ball. The fact that they have been invited to meet each other is regarded as a guaranty that they are fit to be mutually acquainted, and is a sufficient warrant for self-introduction. At a public ball partners must be introduced to each other. Special introducing may be made with propriety by the master of ceremonies. At public balls it is well for ladies to dance only, or for the most part, with gentlemen of their own party, or those with whom they have had a previous acquaintance.
THE MANNER OF INTRODUCTION.
The proper form of introduction is to present the gentleman to the lady, the younger to the older, the inferior in social standing to the superior. In introducing, you bow to the lady and say, "Miss C., allow me to introduce to you Mr. D. Mr. D., Miss C." It is the duty of Mr. D. upon bowing to say, "It gives me great pleasure to form your acquaintance, Miss C.," or a remark of this nature.
If gentlemen are to be introduced to one another, the form is, "Col. Blank, permit me to introduce to you Mr. Cole. Mr. Cole, Col. Blank." The exact words of an introduction are immaterial, so long as the proper form and order is preserved.
The word "present" is often used in place of "introduce." While it is customary to repeat the names of the two parties introduced at the close of the introduction, it is often omitted as a useless formality. It is of the utmost importance that each name should be spoken distinctly. If either of the parties does not distinctly hear the name of the other