Oonomoo the Huron | Page 2

top of the lodge
indicated. A Shawnee squaw was occupied in preparing the morning
meal, while her liege lord still reclined in one corner, in the vain effort
to secure a few minutes more of slumber. This latter personage was
Hans Vanderbum--our friend Hans--a huge, plethoric, stolid, lazy
Dutchman, who had "married" an Indian widow several years before.
At the time of her marriage this squaw had a boy some three or four
years of age, while a second one, the son of the Dutchman, was now

just large enough to be as mischievous as a kitten. They were a couple
of greasy, copper-hued little rascals, with eyes as black as midnight,
and long, wiry hair, like that of a horse's mane. Brimful of animal
spirits, they were just the reverse of Hans Vanderbum, whose laziness
and stupidity were only excelled by his indifference to the dignity and
rights of human nature.
Hans Vanderbum lay fiat upon his back, for the atmosphere of the
wigwam was too warm for covering, his ponderous belly rising and
falling like a wave of the sea, and his throat giving forth that peculiar
rattling of the glottis, which might be mistaken for suffocation. The
boys certainly would have been outside, basking in the genial sunshine,
had not their mother, Keewaygooshturkumkankangewock, positively
denied them that coveted privilege. The commands of the father might
be trampled upon with impunity, but the young half-breeds knew better
than to disobey their mother.
"Shtop dat noise! shtop dat noise!" repeated Hans, raising his head
without stirring his body or limbs.
His broad face seemed all ablaze from its fiery red color, and the
threatening fury throned upon his lowering forehead would almost have
annihilated him who encountered it for the first time. As it was, the two
boys suddenly straightened their faces, and assumed an air of meek
penitence, as if suffering the most harrowing remorse for what they had
done; and the father, after glaring at them a moment, as if to drive in
and clinch the impression he had made, let his head drop back with a
dull thump upon the ground, and again closed his eyes.
The black, snaky orbs of the boys twinkled like stars through their
overhanging hair. Glancing first at their mother, who did not deign to
notice them, the eldest picked up his younger brother, who was
grinning from ear to ear with delight, and, summoning all his strength,
he poised him over the prostrate form of his father for a moment, and
then dropped him! The prolonged snore which was steadily issuing
from the throat of the sleeping parent, terminated in a sharp, explosive
grunt. As his eyes opened, the boys scrambled away like frogs to the
opposite side of the lodge, under the protecting care of their mother.

"Dunder and blixen! You dunderin' Dutch Indians, dishturbin' your
poor old dad dat is wearing his life out for you! I'll pound both of you
till you're dead!"
Hans Vanderbum's system had suffered too great a shock for further
slumber. He rose to the sitting position, and, digging both hands into
his head, glared at his offspring a moment, and then began his regular
lecture.
"Quanonshet, you little Dutchman, and Madokawandock, you little
bigger Dutchman, vot does you t'ink of yourselves? Vot does you t'ink
will become of you, disgracing your parents in this manner? You
oughter be pounded to death to treat your poor old fader in this manner,
who is working of himself away to bring you up in the way you ought
for to go. Eh? vot do you t'ink of yourself, eh? Vot do you t'ink of
yourself?" demanded Hans, furiously shaking his head toward the boys
at each word.
Quanonshet and Madokawandock were too confounded for reply.
"Shposing your poor old fader should go crazy!! Here he is working
himself to skin and bone--Keewaygooshturkumkankangewock, ain't
you got dat cooked?"
[Illustration: "Keewaygooshturkumkankangewock, ain't you got dat
cooked?"]
"No!" screamed the wife. "You big, lazy man, get up and stir yourself!
You don't do anything but sleep and smoke, while _I'm_ working all
the flesh off my bones for you!"
These forcible remarks were made in the pure Shawnee tongue, and
were accompanied by gesticulation too pointed and significant for Hans
to mistake the spirit in which they were given. Although it is the
invariable custom among the North American Indians for the husband
to rule the wife, and impose all burdens upon her, except those of the
hunt, and fight, such, by no means, was the case with the present
couple. Hans Vanderbum's body was too unwieldy for him to

accompany the young men (or even the old men) upon their hunting
expeditions; in short, he contributed nothing toward the support of his
interesting family. The first husband of
Keewaygooshturkumkankangewock had