On the Track | Page 6

"railway bar" meant.
And:
I would, I would, I would in vain That I were single once again! But ah,
alas, that will not be Till apples grow on the willow tree.
A drunken gambler's young wife used to sing that song -- to herself.
A stir at the kitchen door, and a cry of "Pinter," and old Poynton,
Ballarat digger, appears and is shoved in; he has several drinks aboard,
and they proceed to "git Pinter on the singin' lay," and at last talk him
round. He has a good voice, but no "theory", and blunders worse than
Jimmy Nowlett with the words. He starts with a howl -- Hoh! Way
down in Covent Gar-ar-r-dings A-strolling I did go, To see the sweetest
flow-ow-wers That e'er in gardings grow.
He saw the rose and lily -- the red and white and blue -- and he saw the
sweetest flow-ow-ers that e'er in gardings grew; for he saw two lovely
maidens (Pinter calls 'em "virgings") underneath (he must have meant
on top of) "a garding chair", sings Pinter. And one was lovely Jessie,
With the jet black eyes and hair, roars Pinter, And the other was a
vir-ir-ging, I solemn-lye declare!
"Maiden, Pinter!" interjects Mr. Nowlett.
"Well, it's all the same," retorts Pinter. "A maiden IS a virging, Jimmy.
If you're singing, Jimmy, and not me, I'll leave off!" Chorus of "Order!
Shut up, Jimmy!"
I quicklye step-ped up to her, And unto her did sa-a-y: Do you belong
to any young man, Hoh, tell me that, I pra-a-y?
Her answer, according to Pinter, was surprisingly prompt and
unconventional; also full and concise:
No; I belong to no young man -- I solemnlye declare! I mean to live a
virging And still my laurels wear!
Jimmy Nowlett attempts to move an amendment in favour of "maiden",
but is promptly suppressed. It seems that Pinter's suit has a happy
termination, for he is supposed to sing in the character of a "Sailor
Bold", and as he turns to pursue his stroll in "Covent Gar-ar-dings":
"Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!" she cried, "I love a Sailor Bold!"

"Hong-kore, Pinter! Give us the `Golden Glove', Pinter!"
Thus warmed up, Pinter starts with an explanatory "spoken" to the
effect that the song he is about to sing illustrates some of the little ways
of woman, and how, no matter what you say or do, she is bound to have
her own way in the end; also how, in one instance, she set about getting
it.
Hoh! Now, it's of a young squoire near Timworth did dwell, Who
courted a nobleman's daughter so well -- The song has little or nothing
to do with the "squire", except so far as "all friends and relations had
given consent," and -- The troo-soo was ordered -- appointed the day,
And a farmer were appointed for to give her away -- which last seemed
a most unusual proceeding, considering the wedding was a toney affair;
but perhaps there were personal interests -- the nobleman might have
been hard up, and the farmer backing him. But there was an
extraordinary scene in the church, and things got mixed. For as soon as
this maiding this farmer espied: "Hoh, my heart! Hoh, my heart! Hoh,
my heart!" then she cried. Hysterics? Anyway, instead of being wed --
This maiden took sick and she went to her bed. (N.B. -- Pinter sticks to
`virging'.)
Whereupon friends and relations and guests left the house in a body (a
strange but perhaps a wise proceeding, after all -- maybe they smelt a
rat) and left her to recover alone, which she did promptly. And then:
Shirt, breeches, and waistcoat this maiding put on, And a-hunting she
went with her dog and her gun; She hunted all round where this farmier
did dwell, Because in her own heart she love-ed him well. The cat's out
of the bag now: And often she fired, but no game she killed -- which
was not surprising -- Till at last the young farmier came into the field --
No wonder. She put it to him straight: "Oh, why are you not at the
wedding?" she cried, "For to wait on the squoire, and to give him his
bride." He was as prompt and as delightfully unconventional in his
reply as the young lady in Covent Gardings: "Oh, no! and oh, no! For
the truth I must sa-a-y, I love her too well for to give her a-w-a-a-y!"
which was satisfactory to the disguised "virging". ". . . . and I'd take
sword in hand, And by honour I'd win her if she would command."
Which was still more satisfactory. Now this virging, being -- (Jimmy
Nowlett: "Maiden, Pinter --" Jim is thrown on a stool and sat