On the Decay of the Art of Lying | Page 3

or by disk, book

or any other medium if you either delete this "Small Print!" and all
other references to Project Gutenberg, or:
[1] Only give exact copies of it. Among other things, this requires that
you do not remove, alter or modify the etext or this "small print!"
statement. You may however, if you wish, distribute this etext in
machine readable binary, compressed, mark-up, or proprietary form,
including any form resulting from conversion by word pro- cessing or
hypertext software, but only so long as *EITHER*:
[*] The etext, when displayed, is clearly readable, and does *not*
contain characters other than those intended by the author of the work,
although tilde (~), asterisk (*) and underline (_) characters may be used
to convey punctuation intended by the author, and additional characters
may be used to indicate hypertext links; OR
[*] The etext may be readily converted by the reader at no expense into
plain ASCII, EBCDIC or equivalent form by the program that displays
the etext (as is the case, for instance, with most word processors); OR
[*] You provide, or agree to also provide on request at no additional
cost, fee or expense, a copy of the etext in its original plain ASCII form
(or in EBCDIC or other equivalent proprietary form).
[2] Honor the etext refund and replacement provisions of this "Small
Print!" statement.
[3] Pay a trademark license fee to the Project of 20% of the net profits
you derive calculated using the method you already use to calculate
your applicable taxes. If you don't derive profits, no royalty is due.
Royalties are payable to "Project Gutenberg
Association/Carnegie-Mellon University" within the 60 days following
each date you prepare (or were legally required to prepare) your annual
(or equivalent periodic) tax return.
WHAT IF YOU *WANT* TO SEND MONEY EVEN IF YOU
DON'T HAVE TO?

The Project gratefully accepts contributions in money, time, scanning
machines, OCR software, public domain etexts, royalty free copyright
licenses, and every other sort of contribution you can think of. Money
should be paid to "Project Gutenberg Association / Carnegie-Mellon
University".
We are planning on making some changes in our donation structure in
2000, so you might want to email me, [email protected] beforehand.

*END THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN
ETEXTS*Ver.04.29.93*END*

On the Decay of the Art of Lying
by Mark Twain [Sameul Clemens]

ESSAY, FOR DISCUSSION, READ AT A MEETING OF THE
HISTORICAL AND ANTIQUARIAN CLUB OF HARTFORD, AND
OFFERED FOR THE THIRTY-DOLLAR PRIZE.[*]
[*] Did not take the prize.

Observe, I do not mean to suggest that the custom of lying has suffered
any decay or interruption--no, for the Lie, as a Virtue, A Principle, is
eternal; the Lie, as a recreation, a solace, a refuge in time of need, the
fourth Grace, the tenth Muse, man's best and surest friend, is immortal,
and cannot perish from the earth while this club remains. My complaint
simply concerns the decay of the art of lying. No high-minded man, no
man of right feeling, can contemplate the lumbering and slovenly lying
of the present day without grieving to see a noble art so prostituted. In
this veteran presence I naturally enter upon this theme with diffidence;
it is like an old maid trying to teach nursery matters to the mothers in
Israel. It would not become to me to criticise you, gentlemen--who are
nearly all my elders--and my superiors, in this thing--if I should here
and there seem to do it, I trust it will in most cases be more in a spirit of
admiration than fault-finding; indeed if this finest of the fine arts had
everywhere received the attention, the encouragement, and

conscientious practice and development which this club has devoted to
it, I should not need to utter this lament, or shred a single tear. I do not
say this to flatter: I say it in a spirit of just and appreciative recognition.
[It had been my intention, at this point, to mention names and to give
illustrative specimens, but indications observable about me admonished
me to beware of the particulars and confine myself to generalities.]
No fact is more firmly established than that lying is a necessity of our
circumstances--the deduction that it is then a Virtue goes without
saying. No virtue can reach its highest usefulness without careful and
diligent cultivation--therefore, it goes without saying that this one
ought to be taught in the public schools--even in the newspapers. What
chance has the ignorant uncultivated liar against the educated expert?
What chance have I against Mr. Per--against a lawyer? Judicious lying
is what the world needs. I sometimes think it were even better and safer
not to lie at all than to lie injudiciously. An awkward, unscientific lie is
often as ineffectual as the truth.
Now let us