On Board the Esmeralda | Page 9

of his being at
such a poor second-rate school as Dr Hellyer's, about which Tom then
proceeded to unfold the most wonderful revelations.
The master, he said, in spite of his generally having thirty boys at least,
from whom he managed to get an income of six hundred a year or so,
was always in hard straits, and at his wit's end for money; although,
apparently, he could not have any great expenditure, the rent of the
house or houses occupied by the school being cheap, his cost for the aid
of masters not by any means excessive, and the boys' keep not too
extravagant, judging by the meals they had. Dr Hellyer was "an
ignorant, uncultivated brute," Tom averred, and his degree of "Doctor"

was only derived from the fact of his having paid ten dollars to an
American university to air this specious prefix to his scholastic name!
The whole school, my new friend told me, was a sham, for, instead of
there being some dozen of masters, as stated in the prospectus sent to
Uncle George, there were only two besides "The Doctor"--Mr
Smallpage, the mathematical master, called by the boys "Smiley," on
the lucus a non lucendo principle, I suppose, because his face ever bore
an expression of gravity; and Monsieur Achile Phelan, professor of
foreign languages and dancing, christened by Tom Larkyns "The
Cobbler," on account of his teaching a certain number of extra-paying
pupils how to "heel and toe."
Whatever was the reason for "The Doctor's" hardupishness, however,
the fact was undeniable; and Tom said that for weeks at a time the
establishment would be in a state of siege, from tradespeople coming
after their "little accounts," which the master put off settling as long as
he could. The old woman who had opened the door to me, my chum
stated, was popularly believed to be the principal's maternal relative, as
she kept a watchful eye upon the portal, besides presiding over the
interior economy of the school. She was so sharp, Tom averred, that
she could smell a "dun," experience having so increased the natural
keenness of her scent.
Sometimes, too, Tom said, when Dr Hellyer could get no credit with
the butcher, they lived on Australian tinned mutton, which he got
wholesale from the importers, as long as three months at a stretch; and
once, he pledged me his word, when the baker likewise failed to supply
any more bread by reason of that long-suffering man's bill not having
been paid for a year, Dr Hellyer, not to be beaten, went off to
Portsmouth and bought a lot of condemned ship biscuits at a
Government sale in the victualling yard, returning with this in triumph
to the school, and serving it out to the pupils in rations, the same as if
they had been at sea!
In the midst of all these interesting disclosures, a terrible drumming,
buzzing noise filled the air.

"What's that din?" I asked Tom.
"Oh, that's the tea-gong," he replied. "We must go in now, as we'll get
none if we are late, for the Doctor teaches punctuality by example."
"He told me he had `a way of his own' for making his pupils obey him,"
said I.
"Did he? Ah, you'll soon find out what a brute he is! Let us look at your
nose, though, Martin, before you go in. You recollect what he said
about not fighting, eh?"
"Yes; does it look all right now?" I asked, anxiously.
"Pretty well," said Tom, critically examining the damaged organ. "A
little bit puffy on the off side but I think it will pass muster, and you'll
escape notice if that sneak Slodgers doesn't split about his eye--which I
believe you've pretty nicely marked for him."
"Do you think he'll tell?" I whispered to Tom as we ascended the steps
and he turned the handle of the door leading into the house.
"More than likely, if the Doctor pitches on to him! He will spin a fine
story about your having attacked him, too, to excuse himself; for he's a
liar as well as a cur and a bully. But, come on, Martin, look sharp!
There's the second gong, and if we're not at table in our seats before it
stops, it'll be a case of pickles!"
With these words, Tom dashed into the passage with me after him; and,
after racing up a bare, carpetless flight of stairs, I found myself in a
wide large room, which, the evening having closed in, was lighted up
only by a single gas-burner. This made its bareness all the more
apparent; for, with the exception of having a long table stretching from
end to end--now covered with a semi-brownish white table-cloth, and
cups and saucers and plates, not forgetting a monstrous big