Olla Podrida | Page 3

whole of the way by water--and Bruges was immediately under consideration.
"If you go to Bruges, you will find it very dull," observed another; "but you'll meet Mrs Trollope there--now Brussels is very little farther, and is a delightful place;" and Brussels was also referred to the committee.
"You won't like Brussels--there is such a mixture, and house-rent is dear. Now I should recommend Spa for the summer--it is a most beautiful spot--and excellent company." And Spa was added to the list.
Then after a day or two came an Anti-Teutonic, who railed against Germany--and Germans--German towns, German travelling, and German French, which was detestable--German cookery, which was nothing but grease. "You may imagine," said he, "and so have many more, that Germany is more pleasant and less expensive than France; but they have been disappointed, and so will you be. Now, for a quiet place, I should recommend Saint Omer--only thirty miles from Calais--so convenient--and very pretty."
Saint Omer--humph--very quiet and retired--and no politics--and Saint Omer was occasionally canvassed.
"Saint Omer!" said another who called the next day, "you'll die of ennui. Go to Boulogne--it is delightful--you may be there as retired or as gay as you please."
Boulogne to be taken into consideration many inquiries made and all very satisfactory--good sands and excellent jackasses for the children.
"My dear friend, Boulogne is something like the King's Bench--at least most of the people only go there in preference. Every body will suppose that you've levanted. Pray don't go to Boulogne."
"Why don't you go by Southampton to Havre--there you'll have quiet and amusement--beautiful country about Honfleur--scenery up the Seine splendid; and then you can go up to Rouen by water, if you intend to go on to Paris."
Havre and Honfleur submitted to the committee.
But then came Dieppe, and Brest, and the environs of Paris, Versailles, Saint Germain, Passy, and other recommendations, in which every one particular place was proved incontestably to be more particularly suited to us than any other, and the committee sat for three weeks, at the end of which, upon examining the matured opinions of the last seven days, I found them to have fluctuated as follows:--
Monday morning, Manheim. Evening, Spa.
Tuesday morning, Bruges. Evening Brussels.
Wednesday morning, Saint Omer. Evening, Boulogne.
Thursday morning, Havre. Evening Honfleur.
Friday morning, Dieppe. Evening, Passy.
Saturday morning, Versailles. Evening, Saint Germain.
Sunday morning, Spa. Evening, Brussels.
The fact was, that there was a trifling difference of opinion in the committee--the great object appeared to be, and the great difficulty at the same time, to find a place which would suit all parties, that is to say, a place where there were no politics, plenty of gaiety, and cheap peaches.
CHAPTER THREE.
Paddle, paddle--splash, splash--bump, thump, bump. What a leveller is sea-sickness--almost as great a radical as death. All grades, all respect, all consideration are lost. The master may summon John to his assistance, but John will see his master hanged before he'll go to him; he has taken possession of his master's great coat, and he intends to keep it--he don't care for warning.
The nurses no longer look after the infant or the children, they may tumble overboard--even the fond yearnings of the mother at last yield to the overwhelming sensation, and it it were not for the mercenary or kind-hearted assistance of those who have become habituated to the motion of a vessel, there is no saying how tragical might be the commencement of many a party of pleasure to the Continent.
"O lauk, Mary, do just hold this child," says the upper nurse to her assistant; "I do feel such a sinking in my stomach."
"Carn't indeed, nurse, I've such a rising."
Away hurried both the women at once to the side of the vessel, leaning over and groaning heavily. As for the children, they would soon have been past caring for, had it not been for my protecting arms.
Decorum and modesty, next to maternal tenderness, the strongest feelings in woman, fall before the dire prostratiou of this malady. A young lady will recline unwittingly in the arms of a perfect stranger, and the bride of three months, deserted by her husband, will offer no resistance to the uncouth seaman, who, in his kindness, would loosen the laces that confine her heaving bosom.
As for politeness, even the ancien regime of the noblesse of France put it in their pockets as if there were a general chaos--self is the only feeling; not but that I have seen occasional traits of good-will towards others. I once witnessed a young lady smelling to a bottle of Eau de Cologne, as if her existence depended upon it, who handed it over to another, whose state was even more pitiable, and I was reminded of Sir Philip Sidney and the cup of water, as he lay wounded on the field of battle, "Thy necessity is greater than mine." And if I might