Oliver Goldsmith | Page 7

nothing but the respectability of Goldsmith's connections saved him
from the punishment that would have awaited more plebeian
delinquents.
An amusing incident is related as occurring in Goldsmith's last journey
homeward from Edgeworthstown. His father's house was about twenty
miles distant; the road lay through a rough country, impassable for
carriages. Goldsmith procured a horse for the journey, and a friend
furnished him with a guinea for traveling expenses. He was but a
stripling of sixteen, and being thus suddenly mounted on horseback,
with money in his pocket, it is no wonder that his head was turned. He
determined to play the man, and to spend his money in independent
traveler's style. Accordingly, instead of pushing directly for home, he
halted for the night at the little town of Ardagh, and, accosting the first
person he met, inquired, with somewhat of a consequential air, for the
best house in the place. Unluckily, the person he had accosted was one
Kelly, a notorious wag, who was quartered in the family of one Mr.
Featherstone, a gentleman of fortune. Amused with the
self-consequence of the stripling, and willing to play off a practical
joke at his expense, he directed him to what was literally "the best
house in the place," namely, the family mansion of Mr. Featherstone.
Goldsmith accordingly rode up to what he supposed to be an inn,
ordered his horse to be taken to the stable, walked into the parlor,
seated himself by the fire, and demanded what he could have for supper.
On ordinary occasions he was diffident and even awkward in his
manners, but here he was "at ease in his inn," and felt called upon to
show his manhood and enact the experienced traveler. His person was
by no means calculated to play off his pretensions, for he was short and
thick, with a pock-marked face, and an air and carriage by no means of

a distinguished cast. The owner of the house, however, soon discovered
his whimsical mistake, and, being a man of humor, determined to
indulge it, especially as he accidentally learned that this intruding guest
was the son of an old acquaintance.
Accordingly Goldsmith was "fooled to the top of his bent," and
permitted to have full sway throughout the evening. Never was
schoolboy more elated. When supper was served, he most
condescendingly insisted that the landlord, his wife and daughter
should partake, and ordered a bottle of wine to crown the repast and
benefit the house. His last flourish was on going to bed, when he gave
especial orders to have a hot cake at breakfast. His confusion and
dismay, on discovering the next morning that he had been swaggering
in this free and easy way in the house of a private gentleman, may be
readily conceived. True to his habit of turning the events of his life to
literary account, we find this chapter of ludicrous blunders and cross
purposes dramatized many years afterward in his admirable comedy of
"She Stoops to Conquer, or the Mistakes of a Night."

CHAPTER TWO
IMPROVIDENT MARRIAGES IN THE GOLDSMITH
FAMILY--GOLDSMITH AT THE UNIVERSITY--SITUATION OF
A SIZER--TYRANNY OF WILDER, THE TUTOR--PECUNIARY
STRAITS--STREET BALLADS--COLLEGE RIOT--GALLOWS
WALSH--COLLEGE PRIZE--A DANCE INTERRUPTED
While Oliver was making his way somewhat negligently through the
schools, his elder brother Henry was rejoicing his father's heart by his
career at the University. He soon distinguished himself at the
examinations, and obtained a scholarship in 1743. This is a collegiate
distinction which serves as a stepping-stone in any of the learned
professions, and which leads to advancement in the University should
the individual choose to remain there. His father now trusted that he
would push forward for that comfortable provision, a fellowship, and
thence to higher dignities and emoluments. Henry, however, had the

improvidence or the "unworldliness" of his race; returning to the
country during the succeeding vacation, he married for love,
relinquished, of course, all his collegiate prospects and advantages, set
up a school in his father's neighborhood, and buried his talents and
acquirements for the remainder of his life in a curacy of forty pounds a
year.
Another matrimonial event occurred not long afterward in the
Goldsmith family, to disturb the equanimity of its worthy head. This
was the clandestine marriage of his daughter Catherine with a young
gentleman of the name of Hodson, who had been confided to the care
of her brother Henry to complete his studies. As the youth was of
wealthy parentage, it was thought a lucky match for the Goldsmith
family; but the tidings of the event stung the bride's father to the soul.
Proud of his integrity, and jealous of that good name which was his
chief possession, he saw himself and his family subjected to the
degrading suspicion of having abused a trust reposed in them to