Old Jabes Marital Experiments | Page 3

to let yo' cook cook me a cake an'--one or two more little things."
"Very well," said Mrs. Meriwether, relenting somewhat; "I will tell her to do so. I will tell her to make you a good cake. When do you want it?"
"Thank you m'm. Yes, m'm; ef you 'll gi' me a right good-sized cake--an'--a loaf or two of flour-bread--an'--a ham, I 'll be very much obleeged to you. I heah she 's a mighty good cook?"
"She is," said Mrs. Meriwether; "the best I 've had in a long time." She had not caught the tone of interrogation in his voice, nor seen the shrewd look in his face, as I had done. Jabez appeared well satisfied.
"I 'm mighty glad to heah you give her sech a good character; I heahed you 'd do it. I don' know her very well."
Mrs. Meriwether looked up quickly enough to catch his glance this time.
"Jabez--I know nothing about her character," she began coldly. "I know she has a vile temper; but she is an excellent cook, and so long as she is not impudent to me, that is all I want to know."
Jabez bowed approvingly.
"Yes, 'm; dat 's right. Dat 's all I want t' know. I don' keer nothin' 'bout de temper; atter I git 'em, I kin manage 'em. I jist want t' know 'bout de char-àcter, dat 's all. I did n' know her so well, an' I thought I 'd ax you. I tolt her ef you 'd give her a good char-àcter, she might suit me; but I 'd wait fer de cake--an' de ham."
His mistress rose to her feet.
"Jabez, do you mean that you have spoken to that woman already!"
"Well, yes, 'm; but not to say speak to her. I jes kind o' mentioned it to her as I 'd inquire as to her char-àcter."
"And your wife has been gone--how long! Two days!"
"Well, mist'is, she 's gone fer good, ain't she!" demanded Jabez. "She can't be no mo' gone!"
"You are a wicked, hardened old sinner!" declared the old lady, vehemently.
"Nor, I ain't, mist'is; I clar' I ain't," protested Jabez, with unruffled front.
"You treat your wives dreadfully."
"Nor, I don't, mist'is. You ax 'em ef I does. Ef I did, dee would n' be so many of 'em anxious t' git me. Now, would dee? I can start in an' beat a' one o' dese young bloods aroin' heah, now." He spoke with pride.
"I believe that is so, and I cannot understand it. And before one of them is in her grave you are courting another. It is horrid--an old--Methuselah like you." She paused to take breath, and Jabez availed himself of the pause.
"Dat 's de reason I got t' do things in a kind o' hurry--I ain' no Methuselum. I got no time t' wait."
"Jabez," said Mrs. Meriwether, seriously, "tell me how you manage to fool all these women."
The old man pondered for a moment.
"Well, I declar,' mist'is, I hardly knows how. Dee wants to be fooled. I think it is becuz dee wants t' see what de urrs marry me fer, an' what dee done lef' me. Woman is mighty curi-some folk."
I have often wondered since if this was really the reason.

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