Oh! Susannah! | Page 7

Mark Ambient
talk, I'm busy! (opening his letters--aside) Can that boy have guessed? No, how could he? (picks up Cummerbund's letter)
Tupper. (aside) 'E's got the letter! (closes drawer)
Doctor. (throwing down letters savagely) Bills, bills, bills--nothing but bills! (walks up and down shying things about)
Tupper. (aside, stealing out on tiptoe) It's my last day out o' bed, I know it is.
(Exit Tupper.)
Doctor. (takes card out of mirror) "Sir Peter and Lady Quayle request the pleasure----" That's what did it, that dinner of Quayle's. Sir Peter told me over dessert, that for the first six months after he started in practice, he was starving. Then he met a young governess who was starving too, and with what their friends called "sublime imprudence" they got married. And he never looked behind him after. Then he said if I meant to get on as a gynaecologist, I must get married. "Your wife will prove a mascotte like mine did," he said, "and patients will flow in--simply flow in." Well, I believe in Quayle. That was Tuesday night; on Wednesday I ran down to Lowesloft, proposed to Flo on Thursday, we were secretly married this morning at the Registry Office, she's gone back to her people, and I've come back to town; and what do I find? Nothing but bills, and I can't pay one of them. After settling for the special license, my fare back to town, and that telegram to Aurora. (feels in pocket, produces coppers) I've got sevenpence half-penny in the wide world and a wife! It's all Quayle's fault! Damn Quayle! I'll never believe in him again. I don't even know where my next meal is coming from, (walks up and down)
(Enter Aurora with the tea--goes to small tea-table.)
Aurora. 'Ere's yer tea, sir. I was glad to get your telegram. Mrs. O'Hara was getting quite anxious about you.
Doctor. (aside) About her rent, more likely.
Aurora. She wondered where you'd got to, but I knew, sir. 'Ow is the pore lady? Do you think she'll get over it, Doctor?
Doctor. Don't talk, my good girl, I'm busy, (cuts bread)
Aurora (getting behind couch--aside) "'Is good girl," that I am, it's all for 'im. I know 'e's starving. 'E goes for that stale quartern like the pore prodigal gentleman with the 'usks, but I've got a treat for 'im, that there card put it in my 'ead. (points to Quayle's card in mirror) I've bought 'im a beautiful bird, that'll give 'im a relish, (to Doctor) Couldn't you fancy something light with yer tea, sir? (back of couch)
Doctor. Yes, I think I could--I'll finish that tin of potted pig I left, (rises, gets cC)
Aurora. (aside) My stars! An' Tupper's ate it!
Doctor. (opens drawer of bureau) Hullo! It's gone!
Aurora. (to him) G-gone bad, sir.
Doctor. (suspiciously) Gone bad?
Aurora. Yes, sir, an' I've fr--fr--
Doctor. Fried it?
Aurora. No, sir, frowed it away!
Doctor. All of it? (goes to medicine chest)
Aurora. Yes, sir, all of it. (one step back, nods hard)
Doctor. (aside) She's eaten it. (to her) Aurora. show me your tongue. H'm! you'd better take this. (pours out a draught)
Aurora. (aside, rapturously) 'Is patient at larst! (takes it) Thank you, sir. (gasps) I've touched 'is 'and.
Doctor. You won't like it.
Aurora. I will, sir, if I die arter it. (aside) I'm in seven 'eavens already! (drinks, pulls an awful face) It's all for 'im!
(Doctor puts glass back, Aurora takes big lump of sugar from tea-table.)
Doctor. (seriously) You might have died of ptomaine poisoning, eating that decayed tinned stuff, (crosses to sofa, sits again)
Aurora. Oh, sir, I never touched a mossel. (big lump in her cheek)
Doctor. (surprised) You didn't eat it?
Aurora. Not me, sir! I ain't no thief! (takes another lump)
Doctor. (smiles) Well, never mind. That won't hurt you.
Aurora. Please, sir, (looking at him fondly--hesitatingly) Mrs. O'Hara, she arsked me to say--as it's Lady day, would you allow 'er----
Doctor. I know--something on account.
Aurora. Oh, no, sir--would you allow her to send up a beautiful bird for yer tea?
Doctor. No, thanks, I--I've just dined, (eats ravenously)
Aurora. (aside) Lord forgive 'im. (watches him eating)
Doctor. (aside) Mrs. O'Hara has tried that dodge before, but I'm not taking any.
Aurora. I'm sure you'd like it, sir, it's a quail on toast.
Doctor. (aside, jumping up) Quail on toast!' Damn it! Do you want to drive me mad? (shouts to her) No! Go! (sits and pours out another cup)
Aurora. (aside) No go. 'E don't love me, or 'e wouldn't say that?
(Bell rings.)
Oh, that bell! (comes back and quickly removes the things)
Doctor. (still holding teapot in left hand) What are you doing now?
Aurora. Clearing away, sir, in case it's for you.
(Exit Aurora with tea-tray.)
Doctor. What's she done that for? I wish Flo was here to look after me. It was hard to leave her at Lowestoft, (takes photo from pocket, stands it up before him on table) Dear little Flo! The one girl
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