Observations of an Orderly

Observations of an Orderly

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Title: Observations of an Orderly Some Glimpses of Life and Work in an English War Hospital
Author: Ward Muir

Release Date: February 1, 2006 [eBook #17655]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
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OBSERVATIONS OF AN ORDERLY
Some Glimpses of Life and Work in an English War Hospital
by
L.-CPL. WARD MUIR, R.A.M.C. (T.)

Simpkin, Marshall, Hamilton, Kent & Co., Ltd., 4 Stationers' Hall Court : : : London, E.C.4 Copyright First published July 1917

Novels by the Author of "Observations of an Orderly"
THE AMAZING MUTES WHEN WE ARE RICH CUPID'S CATERERS
Also Editor of
"HAPPY--THOUGH WOUNDED" The Book of the Third London General Hospital

TO
LT.-COL. H.E. BRUCE PORTER, C.M.G.
OFFICER IN COMMAND OF THE
3RD LONDON
GENERAL HOSPITAL

Some passages from Observations of an Orderly have appeared, generally in a shorter form, in The Spectator, The New Statesman, The Hospital, The Evening Standard, The National News, _The Dundee Advertiser, The Daily News, and The Daily Mail_. The author desires to make the usual acknowledgments to their editors.
The coloured design on the paper wrapper is by Sergeant No?l Irving, R.A.M.C. (T.), a member of the unit at the 3rd London General Hospital.

CONTENTS
I PAGE MY FIRST DAY 19
II LIFE IN THE ORDERLIES' HUTS 33
III WASHING-UP 51
IV A "HUT" HOSPITAL 65
V FROM THE "D BLOCK" WARDS 79
VI WHEN THE WOUNDED ARRIVE 93
VII "T.... A...." 107
VIII LAUNDRY PROBLEMS 121
IX ON BUTTONS 137
X A WORD ABOUT "SLACKERS IN KHAKI" 147
XI THE RECREATION ROOMS 159
XII THE COCKNEY 173
XIII THE STATION PARTY 201
XIV SLANG IN A WAR HOSPITAL 219
XV A BLIND MAN'S HOME-COMING 235

I
MY FIRST DAY
The sergeant in charge of the clothing store was curt. He couldn't help it: he had run short of tunics, also of "pants"--except three pairs which wouldn't fit me, wouldn't fit anybody, unless we enlisted three very fat dwarfs: he had kept on asking for tunics and pants, and they'd sent him nothing but great-coats and water-bottles: I could take his word for it, he wished he was at the Front, he did, instead of in this blessed hole filling in blessed forms for blessed clothes which never came. Impossible, anyhow, to rig me out. I was going on duty, was I? Then I must go on duty in my "civvies."
It was a disappointment. Your new recruit feels that no small item of his reward is the privilege of beholding himself in khaki. The escape from civilian clothes was, at that era, one of the prime lures to enlistment. I had attempted to escape before, and failed. Now at last I had found a branch of the army which would accept me. It needed my services instantly. I was to start work at once. Nothing better. I was ready. This was what I had been seeking for months past. But--I confess it--I had always pictured myself dressed as a soldier. The postponement of this bright vision for even twenty-four hours, now that it had seemed to be within my grasp, was damping. However--! The Sergeant-Major had told me that I was to go on duty as orderly in Ward W--an officers' ward--at 2 p.m. prompt. I did not know where Ward W was; I did not know what a ward-orderly's functions should amount to. And I had no uniform. I was attired in a light grey lounge suit--appropriate enough to my normal habit, but quite too flippant, I was certain, for a ward-orderly. Whatever else a ward-orderly might be, I was sure that he was not the sort of person to sport a grey lounge suit.
Still, I must hie me to Ward W. I had got my wish. I was in the army at last. In the army one does not argue. One obeys. So, having been directed down an interminable corridor, I presented myself at Ward W.
On entering--I had knocked, but no response rewarded this courtesy--I was requested, by a stern-visaged Sister, to state my business. Her sternness was excusable. The visiting-hour was not yet, and in my unprofessional guise she had taken me for a visitor. My explanation dispelled her frowns. She was expecting me. Her present orderly had been granted three days' leave. He was preparing to depart. I was to act as his substitute. Before he went he would initiate me into the secrets of his craft. She called him. "Private