Nonsense Novels

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Nonsense Novels, by Stephen Leacock

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Title: Nonsense Novels
Author: Stephen Leacock
Edition: 10
Language: English
Character set encoding: ASCII
Release Date: November, 2003 [Etext #4682] [Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] [This file was first posted on February 27, 2002]
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Etext transcriber's notes:
This electronic edition was prepared from the edition published by John Lane in New York and London in 1920. For this "plain vanilla" etext edition, accents have been removed and italicised passages marked by underlines. British pound signs have been removed, and the term "pounds" spelled out instead. Pagination and line layout have not been preserved. Some inconsistencies and obvious printer's errors in spelling and punctuation have been silently corrected, but spellings and usage that are simply older, less common, or more Canadian than modern American usage have been left intact. Running headers and footers, some front matter, and some repeated titles, have been omitted.

NONSENSE NOVELS
BY STEPHEN LEACOCK
PREFACE
THE author of this book offers it to the public without apology. The reviewers of his previous work of this character have presumed, on inductive grounds, that he must be a young man from the most westerly part of the Western States, to whom many things might be pardoned as due to the exuberant animal spirits of youth. They were good enough to express the thought that when the author grew up and became educated there might be hope for his intellect. This expectation is of no avail. All that education could do in this case has been tried and has failed. As a Professor of Political Economy in a great university, the author admits that he ought to know better. But he will feel amply repaid for his humiliation if there are any to whom this little book may bring some passing amusement in hours of idleness, or some brief respite when the sadness of the heart or the sufferings of the body forbid the perusal of worthier things.
STEPHEN LEACOCK
McGill University Montreal

CONTENTS

I. Maddened by Mystery: or, The Defective Detective
II. "Q." A Psychic Pstory of the Psupernatural
III. Guido the Gimlet of Ghent: A Romance of Chivalry
IV. Gertrude the Governess: or, Simple Seventeen
V. A Hero in Homespun: or, The Life Struggle of Hezekiah Hayloft
VI. Sorrows of a Super Soul: or, The Memoirs of Marie Mushenough
VII. Hannah of the Highlands: or, The Laird of Loch Aucherlocherty
VIII. Soaked in Seaweed: or, Upset in the Ocean
IX. Caroline's Christmas: or, The Inexplicable Infant
X. The Man in Asbestos: an Allegory of the Future

I. -- Maddened by Mystery: or, The Defective Detective
THE great detective sat in his office. He wore a long green gown and half a dozen secret badges pinned to the outside of it.
Three or four pairs of false whiskers hung on a whisker-stand beside him.
Goggles, blue spectacles and motor glasses lay within easy reach.
He could completely disguise himself at a second's