Nonsense Books | Page 7

Edward Lear
able, he slept on a table, That funny Old Man of Moldavia.
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There was an Old Person of Hurst, Who drank when he was not athirst; When they said, "You'll grow fatter!" he answered "What matter?" That globular Person of Hurst.
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There was an Old Man of Madras, Who rode on a cream-colored Ass; But the length of its ears so promoted his fears, That it killed that Old Man of Madras.
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There was an Old Person of Dover, Who rushed through a field of blue clover; But some very large Bees stung his nose and his knees, So he very soon went back to Dover.
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There was an Old Person of Leeds, Whose head was infested with beads; She sat on a stool and ate gooseberry-fool, Which agreed with that Person of Leeds.
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There was an Old Person of Cadiz, Who was always polite to all ladies; But in handing his daughter, he fell into the water, Which drowned that Old Person of Cadiz.
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There was an Old Man of the Isles, Whose face was pervaded with smiles; He sang "High dum diddle," and played on the fiddle, That amiable Man of the Isles.
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There was an Old Person of Basing, Whose presence of mind was amazing; He purchased a steed, which he rode at full speed, And escaped from the people of Basing.
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There was an Old Man who supposed That the street door was partially closed; But some very large Rats ate his coats and his hats, While that futile Old Gentleman dozed.
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There was an Old Person whose habits Induced him to feed upon Rabbits; When he'd eaten eighteen, he turned perfectly green, Upon which he relinquished those habits.
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There was an Old Man of the West, Who wore a pale plum-colored vest; When they said, "Does it fit?" he replied, "Not a bit!" That uneasy Old Man of the West.
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There was an Old Man of Marseilles, Whose daughters wore bottle-green veils: They caught several Fish, which they put in a dish, And sent to their Pa at Marseilles.
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There was an Old Man of the Wrekin, Whose shoes made a horrible creaking; But they said, "Tell us whether your shoes are of leather, Or of what, you Old Man of the Wrekin?"
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There was a Young Lady whose nose Was so long that it reached to her toes; So she hired an Old Lady, whose conduct was steady, To carry that wonderful nose.
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There was a Young Lady of Norway, Who casually sat in a doorway; When the door squeezed her flat, she exclaimed, "What of that?" This courageous Young Lady of Norway.
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There was an Old Man of Apulia, Whose conduct was very peculiar; He fed twenty sons upon nothing but buns, That whimsical Man of Apulia.
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There was an Old Man of Quebec,-- A beetle ran over his neck; But he cried, "With a needle I'll slay you, O beadle!" That angry Old Man of Quebec.
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There was a Young Lady of Bute, Who played on a silver-gilt flute; She played several jigs to her Uncle's white Pigs: That amusing Young Lady of Bute.
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There was an Old Person of Philoe, Whose conduct was scroobious and wily; He rushed up a Palm when the weather was calm, And observed all the ruins of Philoe.
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There was an Old Man with a poker, Who painted his face with red ochre. When they said, "You 're a Guy!" he made no reply, But knocked them all down with his poker.
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There was an Old Person of Prague, Who was suddenly seized with the plague; But they gave him some butter, which caused him to mutter, And cured that Old Person of Prague.
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There was an Old Man of Peru, Who watched his wife making a stew; But once, by mistake, in a stove she did bake That unfortunate Man of Peru.
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There was an Old Man of the North, Who fell into a basin of broth; But a laudable cook fished him out with a hook, Which saved that Old Man of the North.
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There was an Old Person of Troy, Whose drink was warm brandy and soy, Which he took with a spoon, by the light of the moon, In sight of the city of Troy.
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There was an Old Person of Mold, Who shrank from sensations of cold; So he purchased some muffs, some furs, and some fluffs, And wrapped himself well from the cold.
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There was an Old Person of Tring, Who embellished his nose with a ring; He gazed at the moon every evening in June, That ecstatic Old Person of Tring.
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There was an Old Man of Nepaul, From his horse had a terrible fall; But, though split quite in two, with some very strong glue They mended that man of Nepaul.
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There was an Old Man of the Nile, Who sharpened his nails with a file, Till he cut off his thumbs, and said calmly,
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