Nonsense Books | Page 9

some she drowned at the pump, And
some she took with her to Troy.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady of Hull, Who was chased by a virulent Bull;
But she seized on a spade, and called out, "Who's afraid?" Which
distracted that virulent Bull.
[Illustration]

There was an Old Person of Dutton, Whose head was as small as a
button; So to make it look big he purchased a wig, And rapidly rushed
about Dutton.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man who said, "Hush! I perceive a young bird in this
bush!" When they said, "Is it small?" he replied, "Not at all; It is four
times as big as the bush!"
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady of Russia, Who screamed so that no one
could hush her; Her screams were extreme,--no one heard such a
scream As was screamed by that Lady of Russia.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady of Tyre, Who swept the loud chords of a lyre;
At the sound of each sweep she enraptured the deep, And enchanted the
city of Tyre.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Person of Bangor, Whose face was distorted with
anger; He tore off his boots, and subsisted on roots, That borascible
Person of Bangor.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of the East, Who gave all his children a feast;
But they all ate so much, and their conduct was such, That it killed that
Old Man of the East.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of the Coast, Who placidly sat on a post; But
when it was cold he relinquished his hold, And called for some hot
buttered toast.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of Kamschatka, Who possessed a remarkably
fat Cur; His gait and his waddle were held as a model To all the fat
dogs in Kamschatka.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Person of Gretna, Who rushed down the crater of
Etna; When they said, "Is it hot?" he replied, "No, it's not!" That
mendacious Old Person of Gretna.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man with a beard, Who sat on a Horse when he

reared; But they said, "Never mind! you will fall off behind, You
propitious Old Man with a beard!"
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of Berlin, Whose form was uncommonly thin;
Till he once, by mistake, was mixed up in a cake, So they baked that
Old Man of Berlin.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of the West, Who never could get any rest; So
they set him to spin on his nose and his chin, Which cured that Old
Man of the West.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Person of Cheadle Was put in the stocks by the
Beadle For stealing some pigs, some coats, and some wigs, That
horrible person of Cheadle.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Person of Anerley, Whose conduct was strange and
unmannerly; He rushed down the Strand with a Pig in each hand, But
returned in the evening to Anerley.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady of Wales, Who caught a large Fish without
scales; When she lifted her hook, she exclaimed, "Only look!" That
ecstatic Young Lady of Wales.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady of Welling, Whose praise all the world was
a-telling; She played on the harp, and caught several Carp, That
accomplished Young Lady of Welling.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Person of Tartary, Who divided his jugular artery;
But he screeched to his Wife, and she said, "Oh, my life! Your death
will be felt by all Tartary!"
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of Whitehaven, Who danced a quadrille with a
Raven; But they said, "It's absurd to encourage this bird!" So they
smashed that Old Man of Whitehaven.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady of Sweden, Who went by the slow train to
Weedon; When they cried, "Weedon Station!" she made no observation,

But thought she should go back to Sweden.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Person of Chester, Whom several small children did
pester; They threw some large stones, which broke most of his bones,
And displeased that Old Person of Chester.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of the Cape, Who possessed a large Barbary
Ape; Till the Ape, one dark night, set the house all alight, Which
burned that Old Man of the Cape.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Person of Burton, Whose answers were rather
uncertain; When they said, "How d' ye do?" he replied, "Who are you?"
That distressing Old Person of Burton.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Person of Ems Who casually fell in the Thames; And
when he was found, they said he was drowned, That unlucky Old
Person of Ems.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Girl of Majorca, Whose Aunt was a very fast
walker; She walked seventy