New Arabian Nights | Page 9

give us information on that point."
"I?" cried the President. "A Suicide Club? Come, come! this is a frolic
for All Fools' Day. I can make allowances for gentlemen who get merry
in their liquor; but let there be an end to this."
"Call your Club what you will," said the Colonel, "you have some
company behind these doors, and we insist on joining it."
"Sir," returned the President curtly, "you have made a mistake. This is a
private house, and you must leave it instantly."
The Prince had remained quietly in his seat throughout this little
colloquy; but now, when the Colonel looked over to him, as much as to
say, "Take your answer and come away, for God's sake!" he drew his
cheroot from his mouth, and spoke -
"I have come here," said he, "upon the invitation of a friend of yours.
He has doubtless informed you of my intention in thus intruding on
your party. Let me remind you that a person in my circumstances has
exceedingly little to bind him, and is not at all likely to tolerate much
rudeness. I am a very quiet man, as a usual thing; but, my dear sir, you
are either going to oblige me in the little matter of which you are aware,
or you shall very bitterly repent that you ever admitted me to your
ante-chamber."
The President laughed aloud.
"That is the way to speak," said he. "You are a man who is a man. You
know the way to my heart, and can do what you like with me. Will

you," he continued, addressing Geraldine, "will you step aside for a few
minutes? I shall finish first with your companion, and some of the
club's formalities require to be fulfilled in private."
With these words he opened the door of a small closet, into which he
shut the Colonel.
"I believe in you," he said to Florizel, as soon as they were alone; "but
are you sure of your friend?"
"Not so sure as I am of myself, though he has more cogent reasons,"
answered Florizel, "but sure enough to bring him here without alarm.
He has had enough to cure the most tenacious man of life. He was
cashiered the other day for cheating at cards."
"A good reason, I daresay," replied the President; "at least, we have
another in the same case, and I feel sure of him. Have you also been in
the Service, may I ask?"
"I have," was the reply; "but I was too lazy, I left it early."
"What is your reason for being tired of life?" pursued the President.
"The same, as near as I can make out," answered the Prince;
"unadulterated laziness."
The President started. "D-n it," said he, "you must have something
better than that."
"I have no more money," added Florizel. "That is also a vexation,
without doubt. It brings my sense of idleness to an acute point."
The President rolled his cigar round in his mouth for some seconds,
directing his gaze straight into the eyes of this unusual neophyte; but
the Prince supported his scrutiny with unabashed good temper.
"If I had not a deal of experience," said the President at last, "I should
turn you off. But I know the world; and this much any way, that the
most frivolous excuses for a suicide are often the toughest to stand by.

And when I downright like a man, as I do you, sir, I would rather strain
the regulation than deny him."
The Prince and the Colonel, one after the other, were subjected to a
long and particular interrogatory: the Prince alone; but Geraldine in the
presence of the Prince, so that the President might observe the
countenance of the one while the other was being warmly
cross-examined. The result was satisfactory; and the President, after
having booked a few details of each case, produced a form of oath to be
accepted. Nothing could be conceived more passive than the obedience
promised, or more stringent than the terms by which the juror bound
himself. The man who forfeited a pledge so awful could scarcely have a
rag of honour or any of the consolations of religion left to him. Florizel
signed the document, but not without a shudder; the Colonel followed
his example with an air of great depression. Then the President
received the entry money; and without more ado, introduced the two
friends into the smoking-room of the Suicide Club.
The smoking-room of the Suicide Club was the same height as the
cabinet into which it opened, but much larger, and papered from top to
bottom with an imitation of oak wainscot. A large and cheerful fire and
a number of gas-jets illuminated the company. The Prince and his
follower made the number