New Arabian Nights | Page 5

I
suppose, your story is a silly one, you need have no delicacy with us,
who are two of the silliest men in England. My name is Godall,
Theophilus Godall; my friend is Major Alfred Hammersmith - or at
least, such is the name by which he chooses to be known. We pass our
lives entirely in the search for extravagant adventures; and there is no
extravagance with which we are not capable of sympathy."
"I like you, Mr. Godall," returned the young man; "you inspire me with
a natural confidence; and I have not the slightest objection to your
friend the Major, whom I take to be a nobleman in masquerade. At least,
I am sure he is no soldier."
The Colonel smiled at this compliment to the perfection of his art; and
the young man went on in a more animated manner.
"There is every reason why I should not tell you my story. Perhaps that
is just the reason why I am going to do so. At least, you seem so well
prepared to hear a tale of silliness that I cannot find it in my heart to
disappoint you. My name, in spite of your example, I shall keep to
myself. My age is not essential to the narrative. I am descended from
my ancestors by ordinary generation, and from them I inherited the
very eligible human tenement which I still occupy and a fortune of
three hundred pounds a year. I suppose they also handed on to me a
hare-brain humour, which it has been my chief delight to indulge. I
received a good education. I can play the violin nearly well enough to
earn money in the orchestra of a penny gaff, but not quite. The same
remark applies to the flute and the French horn. I learned enough of
whist to lose about a hundred a year at that scientific game. My
acquaintance with French was sufficient to enable me to squander
money in Paris with almost the same facility as in London. In short, I
am a person full of manly accomplishments. I have had every sort of
adventure, including a duel about nothing. Only two months ago I met
a young lady exactly suited to my taste in mind and body; I found my
heart melt; I saw that I had come upon my fate at last, and was in the
way to fall in love. But when I came to reckon up what remained to me
of my capital, I found it amounted to something less than four hundred

pounds! I ask you fairly - can a man who respects himself fall in love
on four hundred pounds? I concluded, certainly not; left the presence of
my charmer, and slightly accelerating my usual rate of expenditure,
came this morning to my last eighty pounds. This I divided into two
equal parts; forty I reserved for a particular purpose; the remaining
forty I was to dissipate before the night. I have passed a very
entertaining day, and played many farces besides that of the cream tarts
which procured me the advantage of your acquaintance; for I was
determined, as I told you, to bring a foolish career to a still more
foolish conclusion; and when you saw me throw my purse into the
street, the forty pounds were at an end. Now you know me as well as I
know myself: a fool, but consistent in his folly; and, as I will ask you to
believe, neither a whimperer nor a coward."
From the whole tone of the young man's statement it was plain that he
harboured very bitter and contemptuous thoughts about himself. His
auditors were led to imagine that his love affair was nearer his heart
than he admitted, and that he had a design on his own life. The farce of
the cream tarts began to have very much the air of a tragedy in disguise.
"Why, is this not odd," broke out Geraldine, giving a look to Prince
Florizel, "that we three fellows should have met by the merest accident
in so large a wilderness as London, and should be so nearly in the same
condition?"
"How?" cried the young man. "Are you, too, ruined? Is this supper a
folly like my cream tarts? Has the devil brought three of his own
together for a last carouse?"
"The devil, depend upon it, can sometimes do a very gentlemanly
thing," returned Prince Florizel; "and I am so much touched by this
coincidence, that, although we are not entirely in the same case, I am
going to put an end to the disparity. Let your heroic treatment of the
last cream tarts be my example."
So saying, the Prince drew out his purse and took from it a small
bundle