Nature and Human Nature | Page 8

a bargain?"
After some hesitation, he looked up and smiled.
"We can't complain," said he. "As usual we have got hold of the right
eend of the rope, and got a vast deal more than we expected. The truth
is, the English are so fond of trade, and so afraid of war, if we will only
give them cotton, and flour at a fair price, and take their manufactures
in return, we can bully them into anythin' almost. It is a positive fact,
there were fifty deserters from the British army taken off of the wreck
of the 'San Francisco,' and carried to England. John Bull pretended to
wink at it, hired a steamer, and sent them all out again to us. Lord! how
our folks roared when they heard it; and as for the President, he
laughed like a hyena over a dead nigger. Law sakes alive man! Make a
question between our nation and England about fifty desarters, and if
the ministers of the day only dared to talk of fighting, the members of
all the manufactoren towns in England, the cottonocracy of Great
Britain, would desert too!
"It's nateral, as an American, I should be satisfied with the treaty; but
I'll tell you what I am sorry for. I am grieved we asked, or your
Governor-General granted, a right to us to land on these shores and
make our fish. Lord Elgin ought to have known that every foot of the
sea-coast of Nova Scotia has been granted, and is now private property.
"To concede a privilege to land, with a proviso to respect the rights of
the owner, is nonsense. This comes of not sending a man to negociate
who is chosen by the people, not for his rank, but for his ability and
knowledge. The fact is, I take blame to myself about it, for I was
pumped who would do best and be most acceptable to us Americans. I
was afeared they would send a Billingsgate contractor, who is a plaguy
sight more posted up about fisheries than any member of parliament, or
a clever colonist (not a party man), and they know more than both the

others put together; and I dreaded if they sent either, there would be a
quid pro quo, as Josiah says, to be given, afore we got the fisheries, if
we ever got them, at all. 'So,' sais I, out of a bit of fun, for I can't help
taken a rise out of folks no how I can fix it, 'send us a lord. We are
mighty fond of noblemen to Washington, and toady them first-rate. It
will please such a man as Pierce to show him so much respect as to
send a peer to him. He will get whatever he asks.'
"Well, they fell into the trap beautiful. They sent us one, and we rowed
him up to the very head waters of Salt River in no time.1 But I am
sorry we asked the privilege to land and cure fish. I didn't think any
created critter would have granted that. Yes, I foresee trouble arising
out of this. Suppose 'Cayenne Pepper,' as we call the captain that
commanded the 'Cayenne' at Grey Town, was to come to a port in Nova
Scotia, and pepper it for insultin' our flag by apprehenden trespassers
(though how a constable is to arrest a crew of twenty men unless,
Irishman like, he surrounds them, is a mystery to me). What would be
done in that case? Neither you nor I can tell, Squire. But depend upon it,
there is a tempestical time comin', and it is as well to be on the safe side
of the fence when there is a chance of kicking going on.
1 To row up Salt River is a common phrase, used generally to denote
political defeat. The distance to which a party is rowed up Salt River
depends entirely upon the magnitude of the majority against him. If the
defeat is overwhelming, the unsuccessful party is said "to be rowed up
to the very head waters of Salt River." The phrase has its origin in the
fact that there is a small stream of that name in Kentucky, the passage
of which is made difficult and laborious, as well by its tortuous course
as by numerous shallows and bars. The real application of the phrase is
to the unhappy wight who propels the boat, but politically, in slang
usage, it means the man rowed up, the passenger--I. INMAN.
"The bombardment of Grey Town was the greatest and bravest exploit
of modern times. We silenced their guns at the first broadside, and shut
them up so sudden that envious folks like the British now swear they
had none, while we lost only one man