My Ten Years Imprisonment | Page 7

principal point, made thus irresistibly clear,
is to love God and your neighbour.
In prison I finally determined to admit this conclusion, and I admitted it.
The fear, indeed, of appearing to others more religious than I had
before been, and to yield more to misfortune than to conviction, made
me sometimes hesitate; but feeling that I had done no wrong, I felt no
debasement, and cared nothing to encounter the possible reproaches I
had not deserved, resolving henceforward to declare myself openly a
Christian.
CHAPTER IV.

I adhered firmly to this resolution as time advanced; but the
consideration of it was begun the first night of my captivity. Towards
morning the excess of my grief had grown calmer, and I was even
astonished at the change. On recalling the idea of my parents and others
whom I loved, I ceased to despair of their strength of mind, and the
recollection of those virtues which I knew they had long possessed
gave me real consolation. Why had I before felt such great dismay on
thinking of them, and now so much confidence in their strength of
mind? Was this happy change miraculous, or the natural effect of my
renewed belief in God? What avails the distinction, while the genuine
sublime benefits of religion remain the same.
At midnight two secondini (the under jailers are so termed) had paid
me a visit, and found me in a very ill mood; in the morning they

returned, and were surprised to see me so calm, and even cheerful.
"Last night, sir, you had the face of a basilisk," said Tirola; "now you
are quite another thing; I rejoice at it, if, indeed, it be a sign, forgive me
the expression, that you are not a scoundrel. Your scoundrels (for I am
an old hand at the trade, and my observations are worth something) are
always more enraged the second day after their arrest than the first. Do
you want some snuff?"
"I do not take it, but will not refuse your offer. If I have not a
gorgon-face this morning, it must surely be a proof of my utter
insensibility, or easy belief of soon regaining my freedom."
"I should doubt that, even though you were not in durance for state
matters. At this time of day they are not so easily got over as you might
think; you are not so raw as to imagine such a thing. Pardon me, but
you will know more by and by."
"Tell me, how come you to have so pleasant a look, living only, as you
do, among the unfortunate?"
"Why, sir, you will attribute it to indifference to others' sufferings; of a
truth, I know not how it is; yet, I assure you, it often gives me pain to
see the prisoners weep. Truly, I sometimes pretend to be merry to bring
a smile upon their faces."
"A thought has just struck me, my friend, which I never had before; it is,
that a jailer may be made of very congenial clay."
"Well, the trade has nothing to do with that, sir. Beyond that huge vault
you see there, without the court-yard, is another court, and other
prisons, all prepared for women. They are, sir, women of a certain class;
yet are there some angels among them, as to a good heart. And if you
were in my place, sir--"
"I?" and I laughed out heartily.
Tirola was quite disconcerted, and said no more. Perhaps he meant to

imply that had I been a secondino, it would have been difficult not to
become attached to some one or other of these unfortunates.
He now inquired what I wished to take for breakfast, left me, and soon
returned with my coffee. I looked hard at him, with a sort of malicious
smile, as much as to say, "Would you carry me a bit of a note to an
unhappy friend--to my friend Piero?" {1} He understood it, and
answered with another: "No sir; and if you do not take heed how you
ask any of my comrades, they will betray you."
Whether or not we understood each other, it is certain I was ten times
upon the point of asking him for a sheet of paper, &c.; but there was a
something in his eye which seemed to warn me not to confide in any
one about me, and still less to others than himself.
CHAPTER V.

Had Tirola, with his expression of good-nature, possessed a less
roguish look, had there been something a little more dignified in his
aspect, I should have tried to make him my ambassador; for perhaps a
brief communication, if in time, might prevent my friend committing
some fatal error, perhaps save him, poor fellow; besides several others,
including myself: