My Roomy | Page 8

not consider it justifiable hommercide if one guy croaked another for givin' the Boston club a game.
I went down to the corner and had a couple o' beers; and then came straight back, intendin' to hit the hay. The elevator boy had went for a drink or somethin', and they was two old ladies already waitin' in the car when I stepped in. Right along after me comes Elliott.
"Where's the boy that's supposed to run this car?" he says. I told him the boy'd be right back; but he says: "I can't wait. I'm much too sleepy."
And before I could stop him he'd slammed the door and him and I and the poor old ladies was shootin' up.
"Let us off at the third floor, please!" says one o' the ladies, her voice kind o' shakin'.
"Sorry, madam," says the bug; "but this is a express and we don't stop at no third floor."
I grabbed his arm and tried to get him away from the machinery; but he was as strong as a ox and he throwed me agin the side o' the car like I was a baby. We went to the top faster'n I ever rode in an elevator before. And then we shot dawn to the bottom, hittin' the bumper down there so hard I thought we'd be smashed to splinters.
The ladies was too scared to make a sound durin' the first trip; but while we was goin' up and down the second time--even faster'n the first--they begun to scream. I was hollerin' my head off at him to quit and he was makin' more noise than the three of us--pretendin' he was the locomotive and the whole crew o' the train.
Don't never ask me how many times we went up and dawn! The women fainted on the third trip and I guess I was about as near it as I'll ever get. The elevator boy and the bellhops and the waiters and the night clerk and everybody was jumpin' round the lobby screamin'; but no one seemed to know how to stop us.
Finally--on about the tenth trip, I guess--he slowed down and stopped at the fifth floor, where we was roomin'. He opened the door and beat it for the room, while I, though I was tremblin' like a leaf, run the car down to the bottom.
The night clerk knowed me pretty well and knowed I wouldn't do nothin' like that; so him and I didn't argue, but just got to work together to bring the old women to. While we was doin' that Elliott must of run down the stairs and slipped out o' the hotel, because when they sent the officers up to the room after him he'd blowed.
They was goin' to fire the club out; but Charlie had a good stand-in with Amos, the proprietor, and he fixed it up to let us stay--providin' Elliott kep' away. The bug didn't show up at the ball park next day and we didn't see no more of him till we got on the rattler far New York. Charlie and John both bawled him, but they give him a berth--an upper--and we pulled into the Grand Central Station without him havin' made no effort to wreck the train.

VII
I'd studied the thing pretty careful, but hadn't come to no conclusion. I was sure he wasn't no stew, because none o' the boys had ever saw him even take a glass o' beer, and I couldn't never detect the odor o' booze on him. And if he'd been a dope I'd of knew about it--roomin' with him.
There wouldn't of been no mystery about it if he'd been a lefthand pitcher--but he wasn't. He wasn't nothin' but a whale of a hitter and he throwed with his right arm. He hit lefthanded, o' course; but so did Saier and Brid and Schulte and me, and John himself; and none of us was violent. I guessed he must of been just a plain nut and li'ble to break out any time.
They was a letter waitin' for him at New York, and I took it, intendin' to give it to him at the park, because I didn't think they'd let him room at the hotel; but after breakfast he come up to the room, with his suitcase. It seems he'd promised John and Charlie to be good, and made it so strong they b'lieved him.
I give him his letter, which was addressed in a girl's writin' and came from Muskegon.
"From the girl?" I says.
"Yes," he says; and, without openin' it, he tore it up and throwed it out the window.
"Had a quarrel?" I ast.
"No, no," he says; "but she can't tell me nothin' I don't know already. Girls always writes the same junk. I got one from her in Pittsburgh, but I didn't