My Life, vol 2 | Page 4

him
and would be a constant source of misery, seemed to be ample reason
for my interference. This was one of the occasions when my easily
excited indignation roused me to activity. I replied very fully, and
eloquently pointed out to him the vital importance of this moment in
his life. The desperate tone of his letter justified me in telling him very
plainly that this was not a case in which he could deal hastily with his
views as to the future, but that it was a matter profoundly affecting his
whole heart and soul. I told him what I myself would do in his case,
that is to say, if he really felt an overwhelming and irresistible impulse
to become an artist, and would prefer to endure the greatest hardships
and trials rather than be forced into a course he felt was a wrong one,
he ought, in defiance of everything, to make up his mind to accept the
helping hand I was holding out to him at once. If, in spite of his father's
prohibition, he still wished to come to me, he ought not to hesitate, but

should carry out his wishes immediately on the receipt of my letter.
Karl Ritter was pleased when I entrusted him with the duty of
delivering the letter personally at Bulow's country villa. When he
arrived he asked to see his friend at the door, and went for a stroll with
him, during which he gave him my letter. Thereupon Hans, who like
Karl had no money, at once decided, in spite of storm and rain, to
accompany Karl back to Zurich on foot. So one day they turned up
absolutely tired out, and came into my room looking like a couple of
tramps, with visible signs about them of their mad expedition. Karl
beamed with joy over this feat, while young Bulow was quite overcome
with emotion.
I at once realised that I had taken a very serious responsibility on my
shoulders, yet I sympathised deeply with the overwrought youth, and
my conduct towards him was guided by all that had occurred for a long
time afterwards.
At first we had to console him, and stimulate his confidence by our
cheerfulness. His appointment was soon arranged. He was to share
Karl's contract at the theatre, and enjoy the same rights; both were to
receive a small salary, and I was to continue to act as surety for their
capabilities.
At this time they happened to be rehearsing a musical comedy, and
Hans, without any knowledge of the subject, took up his position at the
conductor's desk and handled the baton with great vigour and
remarkable skill. I felt safe as far as he was concerned, and all doubt as
to his ability as musical director vanished on the spot. But it was a
somewhat difficult task to overcome Karl's misgivings about himself,
owing to the idea ingrained in his mind that he never could become a
practical musician. A growing shyness and secret antipathy towards me
soon manifested itself and became more noticeable in this young man,
in spite of the fact that he was certainly gifted. It was impossible to
keep him any longer in his position or to ask him to conduct again.
Bulow also soon encountered unexpected difficulties. The manager and
his staff, who had been spoiled by my having conducted on the
occasion already mentioned, were always on the look-out for some
fresh excuse for requisitioning my services.
I did, in fact, conduct again a few times, partly to give the public a
favourable impression of the operatic company, which was really quite

a good one, and partly to show my young friends, especially Bulow,
who was so eminently adapted for a conductor, the most essential
points which the leader of an orchestra ought to know.
Hans was always equal to the occasion, and I could with a clear
conscience say there was no need for me to take his place whenever he
was called upon to conduct. However, one of the artistes, a very
conceited singer, who had been somewhat spoiled by my praise,
annoyed him so much by her ways that she succeeded in forcing me to
take up the baton again. When a couple of months later we realised the
impossibility of carrying on this state of things indefinitely, and were
tired of the whole affair, the management consented to free us from our
irksome duties. About this time Hans was offered the post of musical
director at St. Gall without any special conditions being attached to his
engagement, so I sent the two boys off to try their luck in the
neighbouring town, and thus gained time for further developments.
Herr Eduard von Bulow had, after all, come to the conclusion that it