Mr. Scraggs | Page 8

on 'em for any more funds until I had a saved sinner or two to show for it. Well, sir, this last clause jolted me. I had spent money free among them farmers, to boom trade, and for the purchasin' of fancy clothes, more to look at than be comfortable in, the idee bein' to show how good a thing the Church of Mormon was to the first glance of the eye. And now, after side-trackin' my railroad fare home, I weren't wadin' in wealth, by no means. More'n that, I understood that the city of New York was a much more expensive place than St. Looey. So I writ a letter back, tellin' 'em I was scatterin' seed so's you could hardly see across the street. There weren't no hope for a crop unless I had more plain sowin' material--please remit.
"And then they come back at me, sayin' I'd already cost the community about four hundred and fifty dollars, and not even a Dutchman by way of results. That I'd understand this weren't said in no mercenary spirit, but just as a matter of business. They would hold a prayer-meetin', they said, which, no doubt, would bring the end aimed at, and for me to go forth strong in the faith and gather 'em up from the wayside.
"I let fly oncet more, sayin' that I was strong in the faith but feeble in the pocket; that sinners were costly luxuries in a big town like New York. How was I goin' to play the Prophet and stand the man off for my board?
"Elder Stimmins wrote back pussonally, exhortin' me to be of good heart, sayin' further that the days of miracles weren't past; at any moment the unrepentant might get it in the conscience--and signed himself my friend and brother in the church, with a P. S. readin':
_Dear Zeke_: My wife Susan Ann will continner to have high-stukes till I produce a grand pianny. Mary's after a dimint neclas, and my beluvid spous Eliza (that's the carut-heded one lives down by the rivver) will put sumthin' in my food if she don't git a gol watch and chane. Tomlinson's fust three ar rasin' Ned fur new housis, hors and kerige, and the like. The new ones is more amable, but yellin' fur close and truck. Uncle Peter Haskins' latest is on the warpath fur a seleskin sak, and so on and so forth. You know how it is yourself, dear frend and bro., and we ar broke, so I incurrige you to keep your hart stout, your faith intack, and hunt up a poker-game sumwheres, becus we honest ain't got the money.
SAUL STIMMINS.
"'Well!' says the cookee, when he heaved the egg into the coffee, 'that settles it!' And that settled me. I sure did know how it was myself. If there was any man in or out of the Territory of Utah that knew how it was myself, I and him was the same indivijool.
"I took thought of Mrs. Scraggs out there all alone by herself, with her darlin' Zeke entirely out of reach, and while I don't recommend the idee of jollyin' yourself by gloatin' over the misfortunes of others, I thinks this here state of affairs could be worse, and I went forth strong in the faith to New York City, feelin' I might encounter some kind of quick action, like Brother Stimmins prophesied.
"And there, you see, is where sinful feelin' in me turned me over to the enemy, bound hand and foot, gagged and blindfolded. Who was I to exalt myself agin the smart young men of New York City? How come it the foolish notion buzzed in my cockloft that, like Samson of old, I might fall upon the adversary, hip, hurrah, and thigh, and of the fragments that remained gather seven bushels? Pride goeth before destruction and a naughty spirit before a fall. Up I sasshays to my hotel bedroom to take account of resources. Mighty slim they was. In the false bottom of the trunk was a pocketbook that looked like the wheel of progress had passed over it, and a little sack of nuggets--that was all. Them nuggets was the pride of my life. I didn't buy 'em from the Chinaman that offered, but I come horrible near it. And yet that Chink had the innocentest face in Utah; he might ha' stood for a picture of Adam before Eve cast a shadder on his manly brow. I don't recall anything that's more deceivin' than appearances, yet what in the world's a man to go by? Well, them nuggets ort to said to me, 'Young man, beware! Be warier than John H. Devilkins himself! All that's heavy and yaller is not gold. Sometimes a patient Chinaman, flappin' of the flies with his