Mr. Dooley in Peace and in War | Page 2

fifty-five." Mr. Dooley says Mr. Hennessy is eighty. He closes discussion on his own age with the remark, "I'm old enough to know betther." He has served his country with distinction. His conduct of the important office of captain of his precinct (1873-75) was highly commended, and there was some talk of nominating him for alderman. At the expiration of his term he was personally thanked by the Hon. M. McGee, at one time a member of the central committee. But the activity of public life was unsuited to a man of Mr. Dooley's tastes; and, while he continues to view the political situation always with interest and sometimes with alarm, he has resolutely declined to leave the bar for the forum. His early experience gave him wisdom in discussing public affairs. "Politics," he says, "ain't bean bag. 'Tis a man's game; an' women, childher, an' pro-hybitionists'd do well to keep out iv it." Again he remarks, "As Shakespeare says, 'Ol' men f'r th' council, young men f'r th' ward.'"
An attempt has been made in this book to give permanent form to a few of the more characteristic and important of Mr. Dooley's utterances. For permission to reprint the articles the thanks of the editor are due to Mr. George G. Booth, of the Chicago Journal, and to Mr. Dooley's constant friend, Mr. H.H. Kohlsaat, of the Chicago Evening Post.
F. P. D.

CONTENTS.
MR. DOOLEY IN WAR PAGE
ON DIPLOMACY 1
ON WAR PREPARATIONS 6
ON FITZ-HUGH LEE 10
ON MULES AND OTHERS 14
ON HIS COUSIN GEORGE 20
ON SOME ARMY APPOINTMENTS 25
ON STRATEGY 30
ON GENERAL MILES'S MOONLIGHT EXCURSION 34
ON ADMIRAL DEWEY'S ACTIVITY 39
ON THE PHILIPPINES 43
ON PRAYERS FOR VICTORY 48
ON THE ANGLO-SAXON 53
ON A LETTER FROM THE FRONT 58
ON OUR CUBAN ALLIES 63
ON THE DESTRUCTION OF CERVERA'S FLEET 68
ON A LETTER TO MR. DEPEW 73
ON THE PRESIDENT'S CAT 77
ON A SPEECH BY PRESIDENT McKINLEY 81
ON THE HERO IN POLITICS 87
MR. DOOLEY IN PEACE
ON NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS 95
ON GOLD-SEEKING 100
ON BOOKS 105
ON REFORM CANDIDATES 111
ON PATERNAL DUTY 118
ON CRIMINALS 124
ON A PLOT 130
ON THE NEW WOMAN 136
ON EXPERT TESTIMONY 141
ON THE POPULARITY OF FIREMEN 146
ON THE GAME OF FOOTBALL 152
ON THE NECESSITY OF MODESTY AMONG THE RICH 158
ON THE POWER OF LOVE 165
ON THE VICTORIAN ERA 170
ON THE CURRENCY QUESTION 175
ON POLITICAL PARADES 181
ON CHARITY 187
ON NANSEN 192
ON A POPULIST CONVENTION 197
ON A FAMILY REUNION 202
ON A FAMOUS WEDDING 208
ON A QUARREL BETWEEN ENGLAND AND GERMANY 213
ON ORATORY IN POLITICS 218
ON CHRISTMAS GIFTS 223
ON ANARCHISTS 229
ON THE DREYFUS CASE 234
ON THE DECADENCE OF GREECE 239
ON THE INDIAN WAR 245
ON GOLF 249
ON THE FRENCH CHARACTER 255

MR. DOOLEY IN WAR

ON DIPLOMACY.
"I'll explain it to ye," said Mr. Dooley. "'Tis this way. Ye see, this here Sagasta is a boonco steerer like Canada Bill, an' th' likes iv him. A smart man is this Sagasta, an' wan that can put a crimp in th' ca-ards that ye cudden't take out with a washerwoman's wringer. He's been through manny a ha-ard game. Talk about th' County Dimocracy picnic, where a three-ca-ard man goes in debt ivry time he hurls th' broads, 'tis nawthin' to what this here Spanish onion has been again an' beat. F'r years an' years he's played on'y profissionals. Th' la-ads he's tackled have more marked ca-ards in their pockets thin a preacher fr'm Mitchigan an' more bad money thin ye cud shake out iv th' coat-tail pockets iv a prosp'rous banker fr'm Injianny. He's been up again Gladstun an' Bisma-arck an' ol' what-ye-call-'im, th' Eyetalian,--his name's got away from me,--an' he's done thim all.
"Well, business is bad. No wan will play with him. No money's comin' in. Th' circus has moved on to th' nex' town, an' left him without a customer. Th' Jew man that loaned him th' bank-roll threatens to seize th' ca-ards on' th' table. Whin, lo an' behold, down th' sthreet comes a ma-an fr'm th' counthry,--a lawyer fr'm Ohio, with a gripsack in his hand. Oh, but he's a proud man. He's been in town long enough f'r to get out iv th' way iv th' throlley ca-ar whin th' bell rings. He's larned not to thry an' light his see-gar at th' ilicthric light. He doesn't offer to pay th' ilivator ma-an f'r carryin' him upstairs. He's got so he can pass a tall buildin' without thryin' f'r to turn a back summersault. An' he's as haughty about it as a new man on an ice-wagon. They'se nawthin' ye can tell him. He thinks iv himsilf goin' back to Canton with a r-red necktie on, an' settin' on a cracker box an' tellin' th' lads whin they come in fr'm pitchin' hor-rseshoes what a hot time he's had, an' how he's seen th' hootchy-kootchy an' th' Pammer House barber shop, an' th' other ondacint sights iv a gr-reat city.
"An' so he