Mr Hawkins Humorous Adventures

Mr Hawkins' Humorous
Adventures

Project Gutenberg's Mr. Hawkins' Humorous Adventures, by Edgar
Franklin Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to
check the copyright laws for your country before downloading or
redistributing this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook.
This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project
Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the
header without written permission.
Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the
eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is
important information about your specific rights and restrictions in how
the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a
donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved.
**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts**
**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since
1971**
*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of
Volunteers!*****
Title: Mr. Hawkins' Humorous Adventures
Author: Edgar Franklin
Release Date: May, 2005 [EBook #8141] [Yes, we are more than one
year ahead of schedule] [This file was first posted on June 18, 2003]
Edition: 10

Language: English
Character set encoding: ASCII
*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MR.
HAWKINS' HUMOROUS ADVENTURES ***

Produced by Steen Christensen, Tom Chappell, Suzanne L. Shell,
Charles Franks and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team

Mr. Hawkins' Humorous Adventures
by
Edgar Franklin
1904

[Illustration: "That's enough, Hawkins," I said, "come home."]

CHAPTER I.
Hawkins is part inventor and part idiot.
Hawkins has money, which generally mitigates idiocy; but in his case it
also allows free rein to his inventive genius, and that is a bad thing.
When I decided to build a nice, quiet summer home in the Berkshires, I
paid for the ground before discovering that the next villa belonged to
Hawkins.
Had I known then what I know now, my country-seat would be located
somewhere in central Illinois or western Oregon; but at that time my
knowledge of Hawkins extended no farther than the facts that he
resided a few doors below me in New York, and that we exchanged a
kindly smile every morning on the L.
One day last August, having mastered the mechanism of our little
steam runabout, my wife ventured out alone, to call upon Mrs.

Hawkins.
I am not a worrying man, but automobile repairs are expensive, and
when she had been gone an hour or so I strolled toward our neighbors.
The auto I was relieved to find standing before the door, apparently in
good health, and I had already turned back when Hawkins came
trotting along the drive from the stable.
"Just in time, Griggs, just in time!" he cried, exuberantly.
"In time for what?"
"The first trial of--"
"Now, see here, Hawkins--" I began, preparing to flee, for I knew too
well the meaning of that light in his eyes.
"The Hawkins Horse-brake!", he finished, triumphantly.
"Hawkins," I said, solemnly, "far be it from me to disparage your work;
but I recall most distinctly the Hawkins Aero-motor, which moted you
to the top of that maple tree and dropped you on my devoted head. I
also have some recollection of your gasolene milker, the one that
exploded and burned every hair off the starboard side of my best
Alderney cow. If you are bent on trying something new, hold it off
until I can get my poor wife out of harm's way."
Hawkins favored me with a stare that would have withered a row of
hardy sunflowers and turned his eyes to the stable.
Something was being led toward us from that direction.
The foundation of the something I recognized as Hawkins' aged work
horse, facetiously christened Maud S. The superstructure was the most
remarkable collection of mechanism I ever saw.
Four tall steel rods stuck into the air at the four corners of the animal.
They seemed to be connected in some way to a machine strapped to the

back of the saddle.
I presume the machine was logical enough if you understood it, but
beyond noting that it bore striking resemblance to the vital organs of a
clock, I cannot attempt a description.
"That will do, Patrick," said Hawkins, taking the bridle and regarding
his handiwork with an enraptured smile. "Well, Griggs, frankly, what
do you think of it?"
"Frankly," I said, "when I look at that thing, I feel somehow incapable
of thought."
"I rather imagined that it would take your eye," replied Hawkins,
complacently. "Now, just see the simplicity of the thing, Griggs. Drop
your childish prejudices for a minute and examine it.
"Let us suppose that this brake is fitted to a fiery saddle-horse. The
rider has lost all control. In another minute, unless he can stop the beast,
he will be