Moonbeams From the Larger Lunacy | Page 4

wooden rake and gets as much again.

The wise child, after the lemonade jug is empty, takes the lemons from
the bottom of it and squeezes them into a still larger brew. So does the
sagacious author, after having sold his material to the magazines and
been paid for it, clap it into book-covers and give it another squeeze.
But in the present case the author is of a nice conscience and anxious to
place responsibility where it is due. He therefore wishes to make all
proper acknowledgments to the editors of Vanity Fair, The American
Magazine, The Popular Magazine, Life, Puck, The Century, Methuen's
Annual, and all others who are in any way implicated in the making of
this book.
STEPHEN LEACOCK.
McGill University, Montreal. Oct. 1, 1915.

CONTENTS
I SPOOF: A Thousand-Guinea Novel II THE READING PUBLIC III
AFTERNOON ADVENTURES AT MY CLUB l--The Anecdotes of
Dr. So and So 2--The Shattered Health of Mr. Podge 3--The Amazing
Travels of Mr. Yarner 4--The Spiritual Outlook of Mr. Doomer 5--The
Reminiscences of Mr. Apricot 6--The Last Man Out of Europe 7--The
War Mania of Mr. Jinks and Mr. Blinks 8--The Ground Floor 9--The
Hallucination of Mr. Butt IV RAM SPUDD V ARISTOCRATIC
ANECDOTES VI EDUCATION MADE AGREEABLE VII AN
EVERY-DAY EXPERIENCE VIII TRUTHFUL ORATORY IX OUR
LITERARY BUREAU X SPEEDING UP BUSINESS XI WHO IS
ALSO WHO XII PASSIONATE PARAGRAPHS XIII WEEJEE THE
PET DOG XIV SIDELIGHTS ON THE SUPERMEN XV THE
SURVIVAL or THE FITTEST XVI THE FIRST NEWSPAPER XVII
IN THE GOOD TIME AFTER THE WAR

I.--Spoof. A Thousand-Guinea Novel. New! Fascinating! Perplexing!

CHAPTER I
Readers are requested to note that this novel has taken our special prize
of a cheque for a thousand guineas. This alone guarantees for all
intelligent readers a palpitating interest in every line of it. Among the

thousands of MSS. which reached us--many of them coming in carts
early in the morning, and moving in a dense phalanx, indistinguishable
from the Covent Garden Market waggons; others pouring down our
coal-chute during the working hours of the day; and others again being
slipped surreptitiously into our letter-box by pale, timid girls, scarcely
more than children, after nightfall (in fact many of them came in their
night-gowns),--this manuscript alone was the sole one--in fact the only
one--to receive the prize of a cheque of a thousand guineas. To other
competitors we may have given, inadvertently perhaps, a bag of
sovereigns or a string of pearls, but to this story alone is awarded the
first prize by the unanimous decision of our judges.
When we say that the latter body included two members of the Cabinet,
two Lords of the Admiralty, and two bishops, with power in case of
dispute to send all the MSS. to the Czar of Russia, our readers will
breathe a sigh of relief to learn that the decision was instant and
unanimous. Each one of them, in reply to our telegram, answered
immediately SPOOF.
This novel represents the last word in up-to-date fiction. It is well
known that the modern novel has got far beyond the point of mere
story-telling. The childish attempt to INTEREST the reader has long
since been abandoned by all the best writers. They refuse to do it. The
modern novel must convey a message, or else it must paint a picture, or
remove a veil, or open a new chapter in human psychology. Otherwise
it is no good. SPOOF does all of these things. The reader rises from its
perusal perplexed, troubled, and yet so filled with information that
rising itself is a difficulty.
We cannot, for obvious reasons, insert the whole of the first chapter.
But the portion here presented was praised by The Saturday Afternoon
Review as giving one of the most graphic and at the same time realistic
pictures of America ever written in fiction.
Of the characters whom our readers are to imagine seated on the
deck--on one of the many decks (all connected by elevators)--of the
Gloritania, one word may be said. Vere de Lancy is (as the reviewers
have under oath declared) a typical young Englishman of the upper

class. He is nephew to the Duke of--, but of this fact no one on the ship,
except the captain, the purser, the steward, and the passengers are, or is,
aware.
In order entirely to conceal his identity, Vere de Lancy is travelling
under the assumed name of Lancy de Vere. In order the better to hide
the object of his journey, Lancy de Vere (as we shall now call him,
though our readers will be able at any moment to turn his name
backwards) has given it to be understood that he is travelling merely as
a gentleman anxious to see America. This naturally baffles all those in
contact