Monsieur de Pourceaugnac | Page 9

seized, wherever I can find him, as a deserter from physic and an infringer of my prescriptions.
SBRI. You are right. Your medicines were sure of their effect; and it is so much money he takes from you.
1ST PHY. Where could I find him?
SBRI. No doubt, at the house of that goodman Oronte, whose daughter he comes to marry; and who, knowing nothing of the infirmity of his future son-in-law, will perhaps be in a hurry to conclude the marriage.
1ST PHY. I will go and speak to him at once.
SBRI. You should, in justice to yourself.
1ST PHY. He is in need of my consultations; and a patient must not make a fool of his doctor.
SBRI. That is well said; and, if I were you, I would not suffer him to marry till you have physicked him to your heart's content.
1ST PHY. Leave that to me.
SBRI. (_aside, and going_). For my part, I will bring another battery into play; for the father-in-law is as much of a dupe as the son-in-law.

SCENE II.--ORONTE, 1ST PHYSICIAN.
1ST PHY. A certain gentleman, Sir, a Mr. de Pourceaugnac, is to marry your daughter; is he not?
ORO. Yes; I expect him from Limoges, and he ought to have been here before now.
1ST PHY. And he has come; he has run away from my house, after having been placed under my care; but I forbid you, in the name of the faculty, to proceed with the marriage you have decided upon, before I have duly prepared him for it, and put him in a state to have children well-conditioned both in mind and body.
ORO. What is it you mean?
1ST PHY. Your intended son-in-law was entered as my patient. His disease which was given me to cure is a chattel which belongs to me, and which I reckon among my possessions. I therefore declare to you that I will not allow him to marry before he has rendered due satisfaction to the faculty, and submitted to the remedies which I have ordered for him.
ORO. He is suffering from some disease?
1ST PHY. Yes.
ORO. And from what disease, if you please?
1ST PHY. Don't trouble yourself about that.
ORO. Is it some disease....?
1ST PHY. Doctors are bound to keep things secret. Let it suffice you that I enjoin both you and your daughter not to celebrate the wedding without my consent, upon pain of incurring the displeasure of the faculty, and of undergoing all the diseases which we choose to lay upon you.
ORO. If that is the case, I shall take good care to put a stop to the marriage.
1ST PHY. He was entrusted to me, and he is bound to be my patient.
ORO. Very well.
1ST PHY. It is in vain for him to run away; I will have him sentenced to be cured by me.
ORO. I am very willing.
1ST PHY. Yes; he must either die or be cured by me.
ORO. I consent to it.
1ST PHY. And if I cannot find him, I will make you answerable, and cure you instead of him.
ORO. I am in very good health.
1ST PHY. No matter. I must have a patient, and I will take anyone I can.
ORO. Take whom you will, but it shall not be me. (_Alone_) Did you ever hear of such a thing!

SCENE III.--ORONTE, SBRIGANI as a Flemish merchant.
SBRI. Sir, py your leafe, I pe one voreign marchant, and vould like ask you one littel news.
ORO. What, Sir?
SBRI. Put you de hat on de head, Sir, if you pleace.
ORO. Tell me. Sir, what you want.
SBRI. I tell nozink, Sir, if you not put de hat on de head.
ORO. Very well, then, what is it, Sir?
SBRI. You not know in dis town one Mister Oronte?
ORO. Yes, I know him.
SBRI. And vat for one man is he, Sir, if you pleace?
ORO. He is like any other man.
SBRI. I ask you, Sir, if he one man of money is?
ORO. Yes.
SBRI. But very mooch rich, Sir?
ORO. Yes.
SBRI. It does me mooch pleasure, Sir.
ORO. But why should it?
SERI. It is, Sir, for one littel great reason for us.
ORO. But why?
SBRI. It is, Sir, dat dis Mr. Oronte his tauchter in marriage to a certain Mr. Pourgnac gifes.
ORO. Well!
SBRI. And dis Mr. Pourgnac, Sir, is one man vat owes mooch golt to ten or twelf Flemish marchants vat come here.
ORO. This Mr. de Pourceaugnac owes a great deal to ten or twelve merchants?
SBRI. Yes, Sir; and for de last eight months ve hafe obtain one littel judgment against him, and he put off all de credeetors till dis marriage vat Mr. Oronte gifes to his tauchter.
ORO. Ho! ho! So he puts off paying his creditors till then?
SBRI. Yes, Sir; and vid great defotion ve all wait for dis marriage.
ORO. The idea is not bad. (_Aloud_) I wish you good day.
SBRI. I tank de gentleman for de favour great.
ORO. Your very