Miss Minerva and William Green Hill | Page 8

she backed off. "'I's
a-gwine to tell yo' pappy, Jimmy Garner," as she recognized one of the
culprits. "Pint dat ar ho'e 'way f'om me, 'fo' I make yo' ma spank yuh
slabsided. I got to git home an' wash. Drap it, I tell yuh!"
Two little girls rolling two doll buggies in which reposed two
enormous rag-babies were seen approaching.
"That's Lina Hamilton and Frances Black," said Jimmy, "they're my
chums."
Billy took a good look at them. "They's goin' to be my chums, too," he
said calmly.
"Your chums, nothing!" angrily cried Jimmy, swelling up pompously.
"You all time trying to claim my chums. I can't have nothing a tall
'thout you got to stick your mouth in. You 'bout the selfishest boy they
is. You want everything I got, all time."
The little girls were now quite near and Jimmy hailed them gleefully,
forgetful of his anger.
"Come on, Lina, you and Frances," he shrieked, "and we can have the
mostest fun. Billy here's done come to live with Miss Minerva and she's
done gone up town and don't care if we sprinkle, 'cause she's got so
much 'ligion."
"But you know none of us are allowed to use a hose," objected Lina.
"But it's so much fun," said Jimmy; "and Miss Minerva she's so
Christian she ain't going to raise much of a rough-house, and if she do

we can run when we see her coming."
"I can't run," said Billy, "I ain't got nowhere to run to an'--"
"If that ain't just like you, Billy," interrupted Jimmy, "all time talking
'bout you ain't got nowhere to run to; you don't want nobody to have no
fun. You 'bout the picayunest boy they is."
Little Ikey Rosenstein, better known as "GooseGrease," dressed in a
cast-off suit of his big brother's, with his father's hat set rakishly back
on his head and over his ears, was coming proudly down the street
some distance off.
"Yonder comes Goose-Grease Rosenstein," said Jimmy gleefully.
"When he gets right close le's make him hop."
"All right," agreed Billy, his good humor restored, "le's baptize him
good."
"Oh, we can't baptize him," exclaimed the other little boy, "'cause he's a
Jew and the Bible says not to baptize Jews. You got to mesmerize 'em.
How come me to know so much?" he continued condescendingly,
"Miss Cecilia teached me in the Sunday-School. Sometimes I know so
much I I feel like I'm going to bust. She teached me 'bout `Scuffle little
chillens and forbid 'em not,' and 'bout 'Ananias telled Sapphira he done
it with his little hatchet,' and 'bout "Lijah jumped over the moon in a
automobile: I know everything what's in the Bible. Miss Cecilia sure is
a crackerjack; sties 'bout the stylishest Sunday-School teacher they is."
"'T was the cow jumped over the moon," said Frances, "and it isn't in
the Bible; it's in Mother Goose."
"And Elijah went to Heaven in a chariot of fire," corrected Lina.
"And I know all 'bout Gabr'el," continued Jimmy unabashed. "When
folks called him to blow his trumpet he was under the haystack fast
asleep."

Ikey was quite near by this time to command the attention of the four
children.
"Let's mesmerize Goose-Grease," yelled Jimmy, as he turned the
stream of water full upon him.
Frances, Lina, and Billy clapped their hands and laughed for joy.
With a terrified and angry shriek their victim, dripping water at every
step, ran howling by his tormentors. When he reached a safe distance
he turned around, shook a fist at them, and screamed back:
"My papa is going to have you all arrested and locked up in the
calaboose."
"Calaboose, nothing!" jeered Jimmy. "You all time wanting to put
somebody in the calaboose 'cause they mesmerize you. You got to be
mesmerized 'cause it's in the Bible."
A short, stout man, dressed in neat black clothes, was coming toward
them.
"Oh, that's the Major!" screamed Billy delightedly, taking the hose and
squaring himself to greet his friend of the train, but Jimmy jerked it out
of his hand, before either of them noticed him turning about, as if for
something forgotten.
"You ain't got the sense of a one-eyed tadpole, Billy," he said. "That's
Miss Minerva's beau. He's been loving her more 'n a million years. My
mama says he ain't never going to marry nobody a tall 'thout he can get
Miss Minerva, and Miss Minerva she just turns up her nose at anything
that wears pants. You better not sprinkle him. He's been to the war and
got his big toe shot off. He kilt 'bout a million Injuns and Yankees and
he's name' Major 'cause he's a Confed'rit vetrun. He went to the war
when he ain't but fourteen."
"Did he have on long pants?"