Miss Civilization | Page 5

you found it.
REDDY: I know a better place than that to put it.
HATCH: How many times have I told you I'll not let you drink in business hours?
REDDY: Oh, just once, governor; it's a cruel, cold night. (Coughs.) I need it for medicine.
HATCH: No, I tell you!
REDDY: Just ONE dose. Here's to you. (Drinks.) Oh, Lord! (He sputters and coughs violently.)
HATCH: (starts toward him) Hush! Stop that, you fool.
REDDY: Oh, Im poisoned! That's benzine, governor. What do you think of that? Benzine! It's burned me throat out.
HATCH: I wish it had burned your tongue out! CAN'T you keep still?
REDDY: Oh, Lord! Oh, Lord! Think of a man puttin' benzine in a whiskey bottle! That's dishonest, that is. Using a revenue stamp twice is defraudin' the Government. I could have him arrested for that. (Pause.) If I wanted to. (Pause.) But I don't want to.
HATCH: Oh, quit that--and come here. Get out the window, and I'll hand the bag to you. Put it under the seat of the wagon, and cover it up with the lap robe.
(REDDY steps to centre door and, parting the curtains, leans into the hall beyond, listening.)
REDDY: Go slow. I ain't to leave here till Harry is safe on the ground floor again.
HATCH: Don't you worry about Harry. He won't get into trouble.
REDDY: Sure HE won't. It's ME and YOU he'll get into trouble. You hadn't ought to send HIM to do second-story work.
HATCH: (Contemptuously) No?
REDDY: No; he's too tender-hearted. A second-story worker ought to use his gun.
HATCH: Oh, you! You'll fire your gun too often some day.
REDDY: No, I won't. I did once, but I didn't do it again for six years. But Harry--ah, he's too tender-hearted. If Harry was a chicken thief, before he'd wring a chicken's neck he'd give it laughing gas. Why, you remember the lady that woke up and begged him to give her back a gold watch because it belonged to her little girl who was dead. Well--it turned out the little girl wasn't dead. It turned out the little girl was a big boy, alive and kicking--especially kicking. He kicked me into a rose bush.
HATCH: That'll do. Harry's learning his trade. He'll pick it up in time.
REDDY: About time he picked up something. Remember the Gainesville Bank; where he went away leaving ten thousand dollars in the back of the safe. "Why didn't he pick THAT up?
HATCH: Because it wasn't there. Bank directors always say that--to make us feel bad. Hush!
(HARRY enters, carrying his silk muffler, which now is wrapped about a collection of jewels and watches.)
HATCH: That's quick work. What did you get?
HARRY: Some neck strings, and rings, and two watches.
(He spreads the muffler on the table. The three men examine the jewelry.)
HATCH: That looks good. Who's up there?
HARRY: Only an old lady and a young girl in the room over this. And she's a beauty, too. (Sentimentally.) Sleeping there just as sweet and peaceful--
REDDY: Ah, why don't you give her back HER watch? Maybe she's ANOTHER dead daughter.
HATCH: That's all right, Harry. That's good stuff. Pick up that bag, Reddy. We can go now.
(HARRY places muffler and jewels in an inside coat pocket. REDDY takes up the dark lantern.)
REDDY: Go? Not till I've got something to eat.
HATCH: No, you don't. You can wait till later for something to eat.
REDDY: Yes, I can wait till later for something to eat, but I can wait better if I eat now. (Exit into pantry.)
HATCH: Confound him. If I knew the roads around here as well as he does, I'd drive off and leave him. That appetite of his will send us to jail some day.
HARRY: Well, to tell the truth, governor, a little supper wouldn't hurt my feelings. (Goes to buffet.) I wonder where old man Gardner keeps his Havanas? I'd like a Christmas present of a box of cigars. Are there any over here?
HATCH: I didn't look. I gave up robbing tills when I was quite a boy. (Carries bag toward window and looks out.)
HARRY: (Takes box of cigars from buffet) Ah, here they are. (With disgust.) Domestics! What do you think of that? Made in Vermont. The "Admiral Dewey" cigar. Gee! What was the use of Dewey's taking Manila, if I've got to smoke Vermont cigars?
(REDDY enters, carrying tray with food and a bottle.)
REDDY: Say, fellers, look at this layout. These is real people in this house. I found cold birds, and ham, and all kinds of pie, and real wine. (Places tray on right end of table.) Sit down, and make yourselves perfectly at home.
HARRY: Well, well, that does look good. (Places box of cigars at upper end of table, and seats himself.) Better have a bite, governor.
HATCH: No, I tell you. (He sits angrily in chair at left end of table, with his face turned toward the