Miss Civilization | Page 9

if we want to raise a hue and cry after you, there are the
newspapers, and the telegraph, and the telephone (nods at telephone)
and the cables all over the--
HATCH: (Grimly) Thank you. One moment, please. (Throws open
overcoat, showing that it is lined with burglars' jimmies, chisels, and
augers..)
ALICE: My! What an interesting coat. It looks like a tool chest. Just
the coat for an automobile trip.
HATCH: Harry, cut those telephone wires. (Hands barbed-wire cutter
to HARRY. To ALICE) Thank you for reminding me.
ALICE: Oh, not at all. You've nothing to thank me for. (HARRY goes
to telephone. To HARRY) Don't make a noise doing that. Don't wake
my mother. (To HATCH) She's nervous, and she's ill, and if you wake
her, or frighten her, I'll keep the police after you until every one of you
is in jail.
HATCH: You won't keep after us very far when I've tied you up. Bring
me those curtain cords, Harry.
ALICE: Oh, really, that's too ridiculous. (Listens apprehensively)
HATCH: Sorry I had to bust up your still alarm, but after we go, we
can't have you chatting with the police. If you hadn't so kindly given

me a tip about the telephone, I might have gone off and clean forgot
that.
(HARRY takes curtain cords from window curtains.)
REDDY: I'm afraid pretty polly talked too much that time. We ain't all
stupid.
ALICE: No, so I see, so I see. It was careless of me. But everybody you
call upon may not be so careless.
HATCH: Well, I've won out for twenty years. I've never been in jail.
ALICE: Don't worry. You're young. I told you you looked young. Your
time is coming. In these days there's no room for burglars. You belong
to the days of stage-coaches. You're old-fashioned now. You're trying
to fight civilization, that's what you're trying to do. You may keep
ahead for a time, but in a long race I'll back civilization to win.
HATCH: Is that so? Well, Miss Civilization, you've had your say, and I
hope you feel better. (To HARRY) Give me that silk muffler of yours.
(To ALICE) If civilization is going to help you, it's got to hurry.
ALICE: You don't mean to say you really are going to gag me?
HATCH: I am.
ALICE: My! But I shall look silly. (With her face turned right she
listens apprehensively.)
HARRY: (Coming down with curtain cords, and taking muffler from
his pocket) I've got the stuff in this muffler.
HATCH: Well, give me that, too. (Shows inside coat pocket) I'll put it
in the safe.
(HARRY places muffler on table, exposing jewelry.)
HATCH: (begins placing the ornaments one at a time in his pocket. To
ALICE.) What is it? What did you hear?
ALICE: I--I thought I heard my mother moving about.
HATCH: Well, she'd better not move about.
ALICE: (Fiercely) You'd better not wake her. (Sees the jewels.) Oh!
Look at the "graft," or is it "swag?" Which is it?
HATCH: (To HARRY) Cover em up; cover it up.
(HARRY tries to hide the jewels with one hand, while he passes a
lady's watch to HATCH.)
HARRY: (to ALICE) That's YOUR watch. I'm sorry it has to go.
ALICE: I'm not. It's the first time it ever did go. And, oh, thank you for
taking that big brooch. It's a gift of father's, so I had to wear it, but it's

so unbecoming. (She listens covertly.)
HATCH: Put your hat on them. Cover them up. (HARRY partly covers
jewels with his hat.
HATCH lifts a diamond necklace.)
ALICE: I suppose you know your own business--but THAT IS PASTE.
HATCH: Do you want to be gagged NOW?
ALICE: Pardon me, of course you know what you want. (Notices
another necklace.) Oh, that Mrs. Warren's necklace! So you called on
her, too, did you? Isn't she attractive!
REDDY: We didn't ask for the lady of the house. They ain't always as
sociable as you are.
ALICE: Well, that's her necklace. You got that at the house on the hill
with the red roof--the house has the red roof, not the hill. (She
recognizes, with an exclamation, a gold locket and chain which
HATCH is about to place in his pocket.) Oh! That's Mrs. Lowell's
locket! How could you! (She snatches locket from HATCH, and clasps
it in both hands. She rises indignantly.) How dared you take that!
HATCH: Put that down!
ALICE: (wildly and rapidly) No, I will not. Do you know what that
means to that woman? She cares more for that than for anything in this
world. Her husband used to wear this. (Points.) That's a lock of their
child's hair. The child's dead, and the husband's dead, and that's all she
has left of either of them. And