Minna von Barnhelm | Page 9

next. The swords of the Turks are all set with diamonds.
JUST. I would not walk a mile to have my head split with one of their sabres. You will not be so mad as to leave your comfortable little farm!
WER. Oh! I take that with me. Do you see? The property is sold.
JUST. Sold?
WER. Hist! Here are a hundred ducats, which I received yesterday towards the payment: I am bringing them for the Major.
JUST. What is he to do with them?
WER. What is he to do with them? Spend them; play them, or drink them away, or whatever he pleases. He must have money, and it is bad enough that they have made his own so troublesome to him. But I know what I would do, were I in his place. I would say--"The deuce take you all here; I will go with Paul Werner to Persia!" Hang it! Prince Heraclius must have heard of Major von Tellheim, if he has not heard of Paul Werner, his late sergeant. Our affair at Katzenhauser--
JUST. Shall I give you an account of that?
WER. You give me! I know well that a fine battle array is beyond your comprehension. I am not going to throw my pearls before swine. Here, take the hundred ducats; give them to the Major: tell him, he may keep these for me too. I am going to the market now. I have sent in a couple of loads of rye; what I get for them he can also have.
JUST. Werner, you mean it well; but we don't want your money. Keep your ducats; and your hundred pistoles you can also have back safe, as soon as you please.
WER. What, has the Major money still?
JUST. No.
WER. Has he borrowed any?
JUST. No.
WER. On what does he live, then?
JUST. We have everything put down in the bill; and when they won't put anything more down, and turn us out of the house, we pledge anything we may happen to have, and go somewhere else. I say, Paul, we must play this landlord here a trick.
WER. If he has annoyed the Major, I am ready.
JUST. What if we watch for him in the evening, when he comes from his club, and give him a good thrashing?
WER. In the dark! Watch for him! Two to one! No, that won't do.
JUST. Or if we burn his house over his head?
WER. Fire and burn! Why, Just, one hears that you have been baggage-boy and not soldier. Shame!
JUST. Or if we ruin his daughter? But she is cursedly ugly.
WER. She has probably been ruined long ago. At any rate you don't want any help there. But what is the matter with you? What has happened?
JUST. Just come with me, and you shall hear something to make you stare.
WER. The devil must be loose here, then?
JUST. Just so; come along.
WER. So much the better! To Persia, then; to Persia.

ACT II.
SCENE I. Minna's Room. Minna, Franziska
MIN. (in morning dress, looking at her watch). Franziska, we have risen very early. The time will hang heavy on our hands.
FRAN. Who can sleep in these abominable large towns? The carriages, the watchmen, the drums, the cats, the soldiers, never cease to rattle, to call, to roll, to mew, and to swear; just as if the last thing the night is intended for was for sleep. Have a cup of tea, my lady!
MIN. I don't care for tea.
FRAN. I will have some chocolate made.
MIN. For yourself, if you like.
FRAN. For myself! I would as soon talk to myself as drink by myself. Then the time will indeed hang heavy. For very weariness we shall have to make our toilets, and try on the dress in which we intend to make the first attack!
MIN. Why do you talk of attacks, when I have only come to require that the capitulation be ratified?
FRAN. But the officer whom we have dislodged, and to whom we have apologized, cannot be the best bred man in the world, or he might at least have begged the honour of being allowed to wait upon you.
MIN. All officers are not Tellheims. To tell you the truth, I only sent him the message in order to have an opportunity of inquiring from him about Tellheim. Franziska, my heart tells me my journey will be a successful one and that I shall find him.
FRAN. The heart, my lady! One must not trust to that too much. The heart echoes to us the words of our tongues. If the tongue was as much inclined to speak the thoughts of the heart, the fashion of keeping mouths under lock and key would have come in long ago.
MIN. Ha! ha! mouths under lock and key. That fashion would just suit me.
FRAN. Rather not show the most beautiful set of teeth, than let the heart